Three wishes and you're mine
by vala411
Summary: Things go awry when Snotlout summons a demon.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Three wishes and you're mine**

 **Co-Written by: warorpeace and Vala411**

The apartment was nothing but ordinary. A small studio located on the east side of the small town of Berk, it was adequate enough for a single person.

It was why Garry, also known as Snotlout, had chosen the place. That and the incredibly cheap rent.

The living room consisted of the very basic: a four seat dining table made of wood could be seen against the wall. There was a wardrobe near it where he stored his dishes. On the other side of the room a slide door made of glass gave access to a small balcony where there was a red hammock, with a mid-sized teddy bear on it. It was hidden enough from prying eyes, as Snotlout did not wish to explain to anyone why he had "Fluffy", not since he had to embarrassingly do so to his cousin, Hickey "Hiccup" Haddock.

There was also a small TV on the wall opposite to the entrance door, and a two-seat sofa pushed against it. The walls were painted with an egg-white colour and the ceiling had a single lightbulb. Apart from the numerous portrayals of himself, and the occasional S symbol hanging on the wall, one could have thought Snotlout lived a humble life.

However, given that the sofa was pushed aside to give room to a pentagram surrounded by black candles and that there was so much incense in the air that a fish could smell it, it was clear that Snotlout was not satisfied with his life. After all no one would wish to summon a demon, not if one was desperate to change one's life.

The summoning had worked, much to his surprise. He had not put much faith in it after buying the black candles for a few cents each, and having given a broken 1930s phone to the twins for the book. However, because of his disturbing lack of faith, Snotlout found himself at a loss for words and in front of a demoness.

A very beautiful, very hot blonde demoness.

"Uhm" Snotlout, dressed in his white pyjamas filled with dancing flamingos on it, looked up from his seated position before the pentagram.

"Well?" The demoness asked.

"Uhm…." Was all Snotlout could say as he gazed at the female demon that he had accidentally managed to summon. He never thought it would work, honestly he didn't. It was just a book the twins had picked up at a flea market.

"Well don't keep me waiting." She stated as her black heel tapped impatiently on the wooden floor.

"Who are you?!" Snotlout now screeched like a little girl as realization set in. 'Oh my Thor! I really did summon a demon' his mind screeched.

The demoness simply rolled her eyes before pointing her very sharp very silvery axe at Snotlout causing him to scoot back.

"I'm Astrid, the 179th Demon Queen." She proclaimed proudly. "And what business have you that requires my summoning?"

"Business?" Snotlout managed to get out.

Astrid tried to hold off her annoyance. "Yes business. Anyone you need killed, dismembered, dissolved, blackmailed, tortured, cooked….."

"OH MY THOR STOP!" Snotlout shouted as he quickly stood up. Astrid's eye twitched as she was interrupted mid explanation. "I have no business like that!" He quickly stated. "It was all a big mistake. I didn't even think the spell was real!"

"What?" Astrid now growled. "You mean to tell me that I just traveled through the entire nine levels of Hell for nothing!" She then grabbed Snotlout by the scruff of his pyjama top and lifted him up. "Are you kidding me!"

"Wait! Please!" Snotlout shouted as he tried to calm her. "The book said any summoned demon has to grant the summoner three wishes." That caused Astrid to stop and drop him.

"Well I give you credit. You did read ahead."

Snotlout rubbed his behind as he had fallen on it when she let him go. "So what will your wishes be? Make them so that I can take your soul already."

"MY SOUL?!" Snotlout now asked gobbed smacked.

"I take it back. You didn't read that far ahead." Astrid mumbled. "You get three wishes I get your soul." She told her gobsmacked summoner. "And no it can't be negated. You summoned me. I'm not leaving empty handed."

"But…." Snotlout began but Astrid swung down her axe between his legs. "EEK"

Snotlout was nervous as he gulped and looked at the demoness. 'Well if things turned out like this I'll at least go out with a bang.' His mind stated as he looked up at the woman. He couldn't help but leer a bit at the skin her clothing revealed.

"Perv" Astrid muttered as a booted heel tapped impatiently.

"Alright for my first wish!" Snotlout stated dramatically as he stood up. "I wish I had a pile of money."

Astrid rolled her eyes. "Typical. Very well." She stated and then clapped her hands together. There was a rumbling sound and Snotlout looked up to the portal that had formed on his ceiling.

"What in th-" He didn't get to finish that sentence as a large pile of quarters fell on him. "What was that?" Snotlout gasped as he dragged himself out of the mountain of quarters.

"A pile of money." Astrid simply stated as she leaned against the wall looking amused. Snotlout sputtered and tried to think of something but he gave up as the demoness was right. It was a pile of money.

"So….. what shall be your second wish?"

"UGH" Snotlout grumbled as he shook some coins out of his pants.

"Fine…. Eh….. let me think…." He said and then he got an idea. There should be no way for this wish to be screwed up. "I wish to be surrounded by women!" He told the demoness.

Astrid clapped her hands and the next thing Snotlout knew he was surrounded by women. Senior citizens to be more precise. The old ladies looked around and upon spotting Snotlout they started pinching his cheeks.

"Hey… ouch.. Stop it… no…. I'm not pinchable!" Snotlout shouted under the assault of the grandmothers. "UGH I wish everything would just go away!" Snotlout shouted in panic and the next thing he knew he was on the floor. He stared around and saw that every piece of furniture was gone.

"WHAT IN TARNATION?!" Snotlout shouted as he hastily stood up and looked around. Nothing was left in the apartment besides him and the demoness, the same demoness who was watching him with a predatory grin.

"And that makes three." She smirked as she picked up her axe which she had laid down against the wall and walked towards her prey.

"Wait! What do you mean three. I only made two wishes!"

"Silly" Astrid smiled as she raised her axe. "You just made your last one."

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Snotlout screeched as he backed away from Astrid. She was just about to swing down her axe when the door to Snotlout's apartment was shoved open. Both Astrid and Snotlout looked at the newcomer.

"Snotlout….. Are you alright? It sounded like someone was getting killed here." The auburn haired man who interrupted asked worriedly as he took in the scene.

"I've never been happier to see your face cuz!" Snotlout said with relief while Astrid muttered "Someone was about to"

"Uhm….. am I disturbing something?" The man asked as Astrid turned around to take a good look at the one who interrupted her. A smile graced her face as she checked him out. 'This one was hot' Her mind supplied.

"Why hello cutie. What's your name?" Astrid asked momentarily forgetting about Snotlout.

"Well…. Eh…. everybody calls me Hiccup." The man stated as he also looked at the demoness in awe.

If it were not for the highly polished axe in her hand or the faint black smoke around her, and the pair of horns on the sides of her head Hiccup would have thought she was an angel, considering how beautiful she was.

He took in her clothing, which instantly made him blush. She was wearing a black and red corset made of something that appeared to be latex, although he was pretty sure it was just some demonic thing. The corset revealed far more cleavage than what he was comfortable with.

Her palm-length skirt didn't help in one bit, and when she turned slightly sideways Hiccup could have sworn he saw part of her buttcheek and her panties.

Lastly she was wearing a pair of black boots that covered most of her legs. 'Unfortunately' he thought, and then he chastised himself as he realised what he had just thought. Her golden hair hung loose on her shoulders, contrasting with her clothes as much as her blue angelical eyes contrasted with her devilish horns.

Astrid lifted a brow at the weird name. "Are you seriously named after an involuntary stomach spasm?" She asked as she walked a little closer to Hiccup, not missing how he stared at her.

"Well my real name is Hickey." Hiccup mumbled, looking a little embarrassed.

Astrid stopped advancing on Hiccup and just stared at him in curiosity. "Like seriously? Your name is Hickey?!"

"Eh.. yes" Hiccup mumbled as Astrid tried to stifle a laugh. His eyes widened however when she made a business card appear out of nowhere and had it floated to him.

"My name is Astrid, the 179th Demon Queen, at your service." She told Hiccup as he took the business card and glanced at it.

"Wait….. You have business cards?" Snotlout asked as he stood up.

"It says all powerful demon on it." Hiccup mumbled. "Normally I wouldn't believe it but the card did just float."

"That it did." Astrid smirked as she now closed the distance between Hiccup and herself. "You know, you're pretty cute. I can give you anything you want Hickey. Maybe even some more hickeys." She whispered and then smirked at the man's flustered expression.

"Don't listen to her Hiccup!" She dumped a pile of quarters on me and had me attacked by grannies!" Snotlout argued.

"Semantics" Astrid shrugged before turning her attention back to Snotlout. "Let me just get your soul…."

"Wait… wait wait! Don't take his soul." Hiccup shouted as he tried to get Astrid's attention.

"Give me one good reason why not."

"He's an idiot." Hiccup stated.

"Hey!" Snotlout shouted indignantly at the idiot comment.

"Well you have a point." Astrid thought. "I never granted three wishes that fast."

"Hey!" Snotlout grumbled.

"But I still need payment." Astrid stated as she thought for a moment.

"Does it have to be his soul?" Hiccup now asked.

Astrid smiled. "Smart aren't you. No, it doesn't have to be his soul. It can be something of equal value. Honestly the whole demons eating souls thing has gotten a bit cliche in the last thousand years or so."

"I take it that the black smoke is cliche also?"

She shrugged, taking pleasure in how his eyes glanced at her chest and then looked at anywhere but her. She noticed his flustered expression and smiled. "You could say that," she said as she made the smoke vanish.

"Cuz please you got to do something!" Snotlout shouted. "I'm sure she's going to have her wicked way with me!"

"And that's a bad thing?" Astrid mumbled as she crossed her arms while looking at her poor victim.

"Wait no it isn't!" Snotlout quickly amended as he leered a bit at her. "COME TAKE ME BABE!" He said as he held his arms open.

Astrid and Hiccup couldn't help but groan at Snotlout's antics. "I'm seriously beginning to regret answering his summons." She muttered. "Is he always like this?" She asked Hiccup who was wondering how they could have been related.

"He could be worse." Hiccup told her causing her to sigh. He felt much more sorry for this demoness.

"Is there any way that this could be negated. I'd hate for you to be stuck with him for all eternity." Hiccup told her as Snotlout was now flexing his muscles while trying to show off.

"There is a way. It has to be a selfless act." She told Hiccup.

"Well" Hiccup thought and then asked "Would you be willing to take me instead of Snotlout?"

"You would freely switch places with your cousin?" She asked Hiccup seriously. "You must not lie at this point."

"Yes I would. No one deserves to be subjected to him for eternity." Hiccup told her in all honesty as he saw her eyes widen. He didn't expect to have a lap full of demoness as she jumped him in glee causing both of them to tumble to the floor.

"Uhm…." Hiccup was cut off as Astrid kissed him. "You did it! You just negated the contract!" She said as she pulled him closer before kissing him again, much more passionately. "And that is for thinking about me sweetie." She purred as Hiccup became flustered.

"Wait what!" Snotlout now shouted. "The hot demoness isn't going to have her wicked ways with me?!"

Astrid ignored Snotlout as she was twirling a finger in Hiccup's auburn hair. "So, what now?" Hiccup asked as she still sat on him. "You take my soul or…."

"No NO Hiccup. All of us are out of the contract. Your selfless deed, while not for your cousin, triggered the clause. So I don't need to take your soul." Astrid assured. "But I would like to get to know you better."

Hiccup was doing a perfect imitation of a tomato as he asked "Want to have dinner at my place?"

"I'd love to Hiccup." Astrid smiled as she helped him up before picking up her axe. "Lead the way cutie." She said as they exited Snotlout's apartment.

"Wait…..why does Hiccup get the hot demoness!" Snotlout whined as he was left alone in an empty apartment. "AND WHERE THE HELL HAS ALL MY FURNATURE GONE!"

 **-The End?-**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Hiccup yawned as he made his way towards the kitchen. It was still early in the morning and he needed a few cups of coffee to wake up and meet his deadline.

"Hiya sweetie" Was suddenly said causing Hiccup to turn around quickly and spot Astrid lying seductively on his living room coffee table.

"Don't do that!" He warned with a hand on his heart. "You'll give me a heart attack one of these days." he looked at Astrid who was wearing her usual outfit and displaying her horns. They had already been dating for a few months and he was surprised when she told him she could look human if she wanted to. "When did you get here?" He asked as he pushed the button on his coffee maker.

"Just now." Astrid told him as she got off the table and walked towards him. "I have to get to work soon but I wanted to show you this." She said and pulled out a long whip. "My dad got it for me! Isn't it great?"

"Yeah" Hiccup told her as he watched her flex the whip. Over the months he had come to know Astrid he noticed that she had quite a huge collection of weapons. He made the mistake once of sitting down without checking and got to feel the sharp end of one of her throwing knives.

"I'm going to have so much fun with this today!" Astrid squealed as she tucked the leather whip away on her belt. "The other demonesses will be jealous!"

"Have fun" Hiccup told her as he gave her a kiss on the cheek. Astrid giggled before pulling Hiccup closer and giving him a passionate kiss on the mouth. She smiled and also gave Hiccup a slap on the behind, causing him to startle and blush, before poofing out of his apartment.

"Oh that woman" He laughed as he went about his day.

Hiccup was busy for the rest of the day working on the web designs his clients wanted. It was near four o'clock in the afternoon when the doorbell rang. Hiccup stretched his arms and got rid of the crick in his neck before heading to the front door and opening it up. He raised an eyebrow upon seeing his cousin on the other side.

"Snotlout what are you doing here?" He asked as he watched his cousin look suspiciously around. With a sigh he said "Astrid is not here right now."

Snotlout then looked relieved before he entered the apartment. "You don't have to be so scared of her you know. She's actually very sweet." Hiccup told his overdramatic cousin.

Snotlout shot Hiccup an 'are-you-kidding-me' look. "She set my pants on fire."

"Well in all honesty you were ogling her breasts." Hiccup told him as he crossed his arms.

"What! She's hot!"

"And I have you running around like a screaming chicken on fire on video." Hiccup smirked.

"I was just trying to find out where all my furniture went." Snotlout grumbled as he then asked "You got any food around?"

"Let me guess. You still haven't found your fridge yet have you."

"I just spend a month traveling through the Antarctic to rescue my teddybear from a penguin!" Snotlout muttered. "Right now I need food and lots of it."

"Fine, help yourself." Hiccup mumbled. "Lock the door when you're don-" Just as Hiccup was saying that someone appeared in his living room causing Snotlout to let out a girlish squeak before hightailing it out of the apartment with only a salami grasped in his hand.

"Can I help you?" Hiccup asked the stranger who had just popped into his living room. The man was certainly a demon, the horns and the little flapping bat-like wings already gave it away. The man had blonde hair and was wearing a scarlet red suit and tie while carrying a spear. He was already used to Astrid popping in and out all these months that he was hardly surprised anymore.

"I'm Solei Hofferson." The man introduced as he looked at Hiccup with a critical eye. "I'm assuming you're Hickey Haddock."

Hiccup's eyes widened when he heard the name. "Yes sir, though I prefer Hiccup instead of Hickey." He told the man a bit sheepishly. "You must be Astrid's father."

"That indeed I am." The man stated. "And you are the young man that my baby demon girl has become besotted with but I shall be the judge if you are good enough for her."

Hiccup let out a nervous gulp and cough. "May I offer you some refreshments?"

"Tea if you have any." Mr. Hofferson stated as he sat down on one of the couches.

"Right" Hiccup said as he scurried into the kitchen. He quickly prepared the tea and got out some of the butterscotch cookies he made yesterday. He brought a tray over and set it on the coffee table.

Mr. Hofferson picked up a cup and poured some tea before asking. "So what do you do Hiccup?"

"Well I'm a web designer." Hiccup told him. Mr. Hofferson looked at Hiccup weirdly.

"You design spider webs?" He mumbled looking perplexed. "That… certainly is an interesting career choice."

"No no!" Hiccup quickly corrected. "I design web pages for clients." He explained. "They use the pages to advertise on the internet the wares or services that they want to sell."

"I…. see" Mr. Hofferson mumbled. "What exactly is this internet?"

Hiccup arched a brow. "Mr. Hofferson, you don't get out much do you?"

Mr. Hofferson let out a huff. "With all the incoming souls!" He muttered. "I haven't had a vacation since the Renaissance!"

"Oh my" Hiccup said as he stared in shock at the man.

"Some souls are just sooooo needy!" He muttered angrily. "They complain about everything! From the lava pit being too hot to the needles being too pointy! Even me poking them with my spear off a cliff gets them complaining!"

Hiccup felt sorry for the clearly overworked demon and offered him a large butterscotch cookie. The man took it and then bit into it. He let out a hum of approval.

Two hours later Astrid popped back into Hiccup's apartment. "Oh Hiccup darling!" She called but got no answer. "Hiccup?" She called again. It was then that she heard some weird song coming from Hiccup's office. She walked to the door and pushed it open. Her eyes widened at the sight that greeted her.

"TAKE THAT YOU PINK GHOST!" She saw her father shout as it seemed he and Hiccup were playing Pacman on the computer.

"Oh no! The cherry wore off! Run run run!" She saw Hiccup shout as the pacman was now being chased again.

"Eh…. Daddy?" Astrid asked startling the man, causing him to lose a life.

Mr. Hofferson whirled around to face his daughter who was watching both of them curiously. "Princess!" He quickly said. "What are you doing here?!"

"Visiting my boyfriend. What are you doing here?"

"Visiting your boyfriend." Mr. Hofferson nervously chuckled.

"Daddy! What did I tell you about scaring off the boys who like me?"

"Oh don't worry princess. Sweetie pie. Apple of my eye." Mr. Hofferson nervously chuckled. Meanwhile Hiccup was looking at the pair in curiosity. That was until Mr. Hofferson put an arm around Hiccup. "Hiccup and I here have been getting along fine. He even showed me how to work this interweb thingy."

"Internet" Hiccup corrected as Astrid raised an eyebrow.

"Oh and he makes the best cookies!" Her father gushed. "I haven't had butterscotch since Pompeii."

"Daddy you know what sugar does to you!" Astrid admonished. "There is a reason you haven't had sugar since Pompeii."

"Astrid dear I am so happy you found a man who can cook." Her father gushed. "I wholly approve."

"I can cook." Astrid protested as she crossed her arms.

"Honey…. You gave Lucifer food poisoning."

"It was only twice!" Astrid defended while Hiccup quirked an eyebrow.

Her father chuckled before he took out his wallet. "Now Hiccup take a look at my little Snookie!" He chuckled as a long accordion styled photo holder fell out.

"Now this is my little demon at two!" He chuckled. "Look she set her first tree in flames and here she is at four getting her first pitch fork!"

"Dad!" Astrid warned.

"Oh and my wittle baby is here at eight bringing her chainsaw to show and tell!" He kept on gushing. "Oh and this was when she got her braces."

"Dad NO!" Astrid now shrieked as she dove at her father, accidentally knocking Hiccup down as well.

Hiccup was being squished under Astrid and her father as they fought over the pictures. "But Snooky! I haven't shown him your sweet sixteen yet!"

"Exactly!" He heard Astrid shout and he then vaguely wondered what else was in store when dating a demoness.

 **-The end or is it?-**

 **(You decide)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

It was another sunny day when Hiccup went to get his mail. "Bills, bills, advertisement, coupons" He mumbled while going through them. Then a blue envelope caught his eye. He hummed as he opened the envelope and raised his brow at the invitation. "Now this was interesting" He mused while going back to his apartment with the mail.

He placed the mail on the counter before going to make lunch. "Hiya honey!" suddenly came from behind him causing him to let out a 'manly' shriek of surprise. He quickly grabbed the tomato which was flung into the air and turned around to see Astrid leaning seductively against his counter.

"You enjoy doing that don't you?" Hiccup asked as he held a hand over his heart.

"It's a demon thing." Astrid shrugged before leaning in to kiss Hiccup. She smiled before bringing her hands lower and giving Hiccup's behind a squeeze.

"ASTRID!" Hiccup squeaked and blushed furiously. Even after all these months he could still not quite get used to that.

"Why do you always have to wear such baggy shorts Hiccup?" Astrid pouted as she played with the tomato he had set down on the counter. "You really ought to flaunt what your mother gave you."

Hiccup let out a cough while his cheeks were stained pink. Astrid spotted the blue envelope on the counter with the invitation out. She lifted her brow in question. "So are you going to see your high school friends again?" She asked. "You never really talk about them."

"That's because I didn't have many." Hiccup mumbled.

"But you are so adorkable!" Astrid laughed.

"Adorkable? Is that even a word?" Hiccup asked. "Besides it isn't a full reunion. Just a dinner and get together at a hotel. Those who sent it were from the popular crowd and we were definitely not friends."

"Don't tell me you were the classic nerd in highschool." Astrid asked as she poked Hiccup in the stomach.

"No no" Hiccup quickly said as he tried to avoid the pokes and not laugh. He was quite ticklish. "I wasn't a nerd."

"Then what were you? You already know what I was in Demon High."

"Yeah, lead cellist!" Hiccup smiled as he remembered the picture he was shown by Astrid's father.

"A flat chested lead cellist!" Astrid mumbled. "But look at me now!" She gestured to the very sexy and revealing outfit, which basically consisted of a black corset, a palm-sized black skirt, high leather boots, and the fact that she wasn't in the flat chest department anymore. "I doubt it would have been worse for you."

"Alright. I was a total emo in high school." Hiccup confessed. Astrid looked him up and down. "No really. I was this skinny kid without any muscles, dressed in total black and with a tongue piercing to boot."

"So why did you get the invite then?" Astrid questioned.

"I don't know. It just seems a little sketchy to me. I spent half my school life getting pushed into lockers by them."

Astrid hummed as if in thought "Well you never know; maybe they want to make it up to you. You never really know with people these days. It was much simpler in ancient times. I miss those knightly duels!" She let out a sad sigh.

"I guess I could go and see what it's all about. Would you like to accompany me?" He asked as Astrid smiled.

"Of course honey. I'd love to. Now you said something about a piercing?" Astrid asked as she leaned in closer. Hiccup let out a gulp. He had completely forgotten that Astrid found such things sexy. "You have got to show me." She giggled as she tugged him close.

"Whatabout lunch?" he asked as his girlfriend got that sultry look in her eyes. "Lunch can wait." She mumbled. "There is always a late lunch or…. Dinner." Hiccup still blushing slightly, nodded.

The night of the reunion dinner found Hiccup and Astrid walking arm in arm into the hotel lobby. Since the invitation said formal dress both had worn their best. For Hiccup that meant a black tuxedo with a dark green trim and Astrid had worn a long sexy red Chiffon dress which was open in the back and sported a deep V neck. The high split on the side of the dress showed off her sexy legs. Hiccup had coughed and blushed when she showed him, much to her delight. He had however failed to contain his laughter a bit when she told him the precise color of the dress, Red Devil.

They were shown to the ballroom where the other guest were and Astrid excused herself for a bit to freshen up. Hiccup waited outside near the ballroom when he ran into one of his old highschool friends. "Fishlegs is that really you?" he greeted.

"Hiccup!" Fishlegs exclaimed as he proceeded to envelop his friend in a big hug.

"Fish…. Needtobreathe" Hiccup gasped out as he was promptly put back on the ground by a sheepish looking Fishlegs. He was dressed similarly to Hiccup; only he was wearing a completely classy tuxedo, only without the green.

"Right." Fishlegs chuckled and then gestured to the black haired woman next to him. "May I introduce you to my fiance, Heather." He introduced. Heather shook Hiccup's hand as the later looked at her. She was wearing a rather modest dark blue dress, with a slit running down from just below her knee. It had a modest V line, which showed that Mother Nature had blessed her.

"Wait weren't you the head cheerleader?" Hiccup asked as he looked between the two.

"Yes. Fishlegs and I went to the same University. We got together during our junior year." She confirmed.

"Funny story that actually." Fishlegs chuckled. Before Hiccup could ask why Fishlegs was starting to blush he heard someone shout "Oh My GOSH HEATHER good to see you girl!"

Hiccup saw two people coming out of the ballroom and walking towards them. He recognized one of them as one of the quarterbacks from the high school team, Matt. The woman walking next to him proceeded to enveloped Heather in a hug. It was then that it hit him. That was Valerie, the girl who was student council president in their senior year.

Matt who was quite the ladies man during high school turned to Fishlegs and Hiccup. "Fishlegs, Hiccup, didn't think you two would come."

"Well since I'm Heather's date and all." Fishlegs mumbled. Hiccup guessed he wasn't so sure about coming either since he didn't belong to the popular group in high school.

"I thought I could check it out." Hiccup merely mentioned as he shook Matt's hand.

"Oh Hiccup please don't tell me you came stag tonight." Valery said. "We have the ballroom set up for dancing as well. I wouldn't want you to feel left out."

"Oh don't worry." Came from behind Hiccup. Astrid approached and came to a stop beside Hiccup. She casually flipped her hair a bit as it was covering one of her eyes while taking Hiccup's arm. Her dress highlighted all of her features and Hiccup mentally laughed as he saw Matt and Valerie's jaws drop. Hiccup leaned in and gave Astrid a chaste kiss on the cheek causing her to let out a giggle.

"I hope I didn't keep you waiting long honey." She smiled. "So who are your friends?"

"These are Fishlegs and his fiance Heather and that is Matt and Valerie. Everyone I'd like you to meet my girlfriend Astrid." He introduced. Fishlegs and Heather greeted Astrid and Hiccup lifted a brow as he thought he saw Valerie stomp on Matt's foot to get him to stop gawking.

"Well then." Matt said after greeting Astrid. "Shall we go in?"

The ballroom was mostly what he had expected. A big room, full of round tables, each with nine elegant white leather and wood chairs, and silver eating utensils on top of the white table mat. On the opposite side of the room was a band dressed in cream colored tuxedos with red roses on their lapels playing Jazz and Swing.

The ballroom was already quite full. Hiccup recognized some of them. The former jocks, cheerleaders and even the twins. That stopped Hiccup midstep. He really wondered what the twins were doing here and he hoped to every deity both good and bad that they wouldn't blow something up again. He still remembered how they blew up the pool, with the water still in it.

Astrid noticed his shudder and then glanced to where he was looking. "They friends of yours?" She asked.

"Yeah" Hiccup told her. "But they were social outcasts with their tendency to blow stuff up. Now I'm really suspicious why we were invited."

"Well then. They'd have to get through me if they want to get at my man." Astrid spoke possessively as she looked around the room with a critical eye.

"Astrid please don't release any hellhounds again." He whispered as the twins came closer and greeted them. Astrid was about to greet them as well when he saw her stiffen and her eyes narrow. The twins stopped as well and looked at her critically.

"Ehm….." Hiccup mumbled not knowing why the three froze. "Astrid, eh… these are the twins Ruffnut and Tuffnut. Guys this is Astrid my girlfriend."

"Pleasure"

"Likewise"

The greetings were stiff as they still glared at each other.

"Hiccup I didn't know you associated with the likes of them." Astrid growled catching Hiccup by surprise. The twins added "We agree. Can't believe you'd associate with the likes of her."

Hiccup took a step back and looked in befuddlement at them. "Okay… WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!"

They pointed fingers at each other and said simultaneously "She's a demon!" and "They're angels!"

Tuffnut looked affronted. "We aren't just angels madam! We are Cherubims!"

"And I'm not just some demon!" Astrid muttered. "It's demon queen to you!"

Hiccup just stood there openmouthed at he looked between the two. "I don't believe this" He muttered before pulling them to a corner. He then turned to Astrid "Are you absolutely sure that they are angels. Like 100 percent?"

"Hiccup I'm sure." Astrid stated.

"Hey! We take offence." Ruffnut mumbled. "How can we not be angels. Do we need to show you our wings and halos?"

"You guys have a tendency to cause chaos wherever you go!" Hiccup blurted out. "Excuse me for being sceptical."

"What are you guys even doing on Earth? Shouldn't you be floating on some fluffy little cloud somewhere?" Astrid now asked as she stood next to Hiccup.

"Welllll…" The twins said simultaneously. "We might have, sort of, kind of, blown up the Pearly Gates and got sent down here for a couple of centuries."

Hiccup was for once speechless. He just blinked owlishly at his two friends. Astrid proceeded to close his mouth.

The twins looked at Astrid critically. "If you hurt our Hiccy" They started to threaten but Astrid stopped them by holding up her hand.

"I have no intention of hurting him." She stated sincerely. The twins looked at her for a moment before they nodded and then smiled. Things went a lot smoother after that. The twins warmed up to Astrid and Astrid to them. Astrid was even giving them pointers on some chaos making tricks. At that moment Hiccup downed his champagne in one fell swoop while praying to any deity willing to listen.

Heather and Fishlegs soon joined them at the table. "Honestly I need a breather" She mumbled. "It's just like high school again…. Only older."

"How so?" Hiccup asked. Heather proceeded to point some groups that had formed out. "There we have the soccer moms." She mumbled. "I had to scram out of there with all the baby pictures. And then we have the corporate types, the sports dads" She summed up.

"So got any idea why we were invited?" Hiccup decided to ask. "I mean no offence and all but we were far from popular."

"I think it had something to do with Snotlout. He was a jock and I you guys are related." Heather told him sincerely. "I've had a lot of them ask where he is actually."

"You know that is a good question. Where is Snotlout? He certainly wouldn't miss an opportunity like this to boast." Fishlegs added.

"I think he's somewhere in the Amazon rainforest hunting down his good China plates." Hiccup told them. Heather and Fishlegs simply blinked at the answer.

"And why would his plates be in the Amazon rainforest?" Fishlegs now asked.

"It's… a long story." Hiccup mumbled.

"Oh my god. Look who just showed up." Fishlegs exclaimed. "Hiccup it's Mary Ann. Didn't you used to have like a huge crush on her?" Astrid and the twins stopped conversing when Fishlegs said that and looked at the woman that had just entered. The woman was the very definition of snobbish socialite with her hair done up in a bun. She wore a black gown with a small split and her neck was adorned with a few strings of pearls.

"Fish I was so over her by Junior year." Hiccup told his friend. "She was probably the bossiest girl I ever talked to."

"She doesn't look like much." Astrid looked the woman up and down with a dismissive tone.

"But the hunk next to her. RAWR" Ruffnut said as she eyed the man. "Me likey." The man accompanying Mary Ann was muscular with slicked back dark brown hair and had what appeared to be a blue tattoo on his chin.

That sentence got Astrid's attention. "Oh my Lucifer! You're the 'Me likey' angel!" She exclaimed causing a few people to oddly stare at them.

"The what?!" Hiccup asked as Heather and Fishlegs were trying to figure out what was going on.

"Hiccup she's the 'me likey' angel!" Astrid said matter of factly as she looked at her boyfriend.

"Eh… Astrid I have no idea what it means."

Astrid scooted closer as if to tell Hiccup a big secret, and maybe it was. "Well you know the seven demons representing the deadly sins right." Hiccup nodded. "They happen to be very handsome but a couple of centuries ago they refused to leave Hell because of one angel."

"Oh?" Hiccup asked. "You mean Ruffnut? Our Ruffnut?!"

Astrid nodded. "The reason being that she chased them across the entirety of Europe."

"Oh my!" Hiccup said while Ruffnut dreamily added "Good times"

Astrid merely rolled her eyes and whispered. "Even the demon of Lust, Asmodeus, wanted nothing to do with her."

"OH MY!" Hiccup's eyes widened at that tidbit of gossip. He spared Ruffnut a scared glance, feeling glad that he was with Astrid at the moment, and that said woman was quite possessive.

"Poor guy" Astrid sadly said as she glanced at Mary Ann's armcandy.

Mary Ann noticed the group and came over with her beau. She greeted Heather but ignored the others. "Snob" Astrid coughed under her breath. She really didn't like this woman looking down on her and her new friends. Unfortunately, Mary Ann heard her and asked haughtily "Excuse me? What did you just say?"

Astrid merely smiled as she sat next to Hiccup holding up her own champagne flute. "Honey I would explain it to you but I believe you wouldn't understand it." She said before taking a sip of her drink. The rest snickered, including her date who in the meanwhile had introduced himself as Eret, while it took a minute for Mary Ann to process the insult.

"Ooh burn!" Both Heather and Ruffnut exclaimed.

Mary Ann was glaring at Astrid and was about to say something when something feathery flew at her. "Ack get it off of me! Get it off!" Mary Ann screamed. Hiccup and the others looked at what appeared to be a chicken attacking Mary Ann.

"Brother, did you leave the coop of the holy Chicken unlocked again?" Hiccup overheard Ruffnut ask her brother and decided to not even try and ask what was up with the chicken in the ballroom.

The guests watched as Mary Ann flailed about wildly as she tried to get the crazy chicken off of her. She was grabbing at the air and suddenly grabbed the top of Matt's head. What no one expected was for his hair to come off. "My toupe!" Matt shouted as he tried to cover his bald spot. Valerie was trying to make herself smaller by hiding behind her purse. Mary Ann meanwhile used the toupe to try and ward off the feathery fowl.

Eret just stood there dumbly as Ruffnut proceeded to latch her arm around his bicep. "Well hello handsome" She purred, dragging the 'o', and causing the poor man to shudder. Hiccup decided he had enough crazy in his life and then turned to Astrid as an upbeat waltz started.

"Would M'lady care for a dance?" He asked while holding his hand out.

"I would love to." Astrid said as she linked their hands. The couple proceeded to the dancefloor leaving behind Tuffnut, who was gagging at his sister's display of lust while muttering 'not again', Eret who was trying to escape a very very very clingy Ruffnut, and a befuddled Fishlegs and Heather.

Heather mumbled to her fiance. "So honey, still think this party was going to be boring?"

 **AN: Co-written with warorpeace.**

 **I think we're getting the hang of this. More to come. XD**

 **Tell us what you think :3**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Hiccup where is your coffee table?" His father asked as his parents and two of their friends were sitting on the couch across from him, cradling their tea cups in their hands. Hiccup himself was holding the teapot and looked sheepishly at his father.

Stoick was a tall and burly man, sporting a giant red beard that could easily cause envy among most men. His equally big red hair was equally impressive. He easily towered over most people, being seven feet tall, and as big as a professional weight lifter. At a first glance it would be hard to see how he and Hiccup were related, except for the green eyes both shared.

"Well… it…. Eh…. broke." Hiccup chuckled as a slight tinge of pink appeared on his cheeks.

"How do you break a solid mahogany table?" His father asked.

"Oh you'd be surprised how easy it was." Hiccup mumbled quietly as he was getting more embarrassed by the second. He wondered why his parents decided to visit so early and with friends this time. Said friends were currently watching Hiccup and he had a feeling that there was more to them being here than just being out with his parents.

One was a man named Liam, he was muscular and wore a simple navy colored T-shirt with black jeans. He had a very handsome face and sported striking greenish yellow eyes and dark brown hair with blond highlights. The other was an asian woman named Celia who wore a white button up blouse with the top two buttons open and a black knee length skirt. She had black eyes and sported black wavy hair that came just below her shoulders. Her pink lipgloss highlighted her plump lips as she smiled and showed off pearly whites.

"So what brings you all here so early?" Hiccup asked as he looked at his mother and father.

Valka gave a cough as she didn't look Hiccup directly in the eyes. "Well son, your father and I along with Liam and Celia here were in the neighbourhood and thought it would be nice to drop by and see how you were doing."

"Mom, you guys live in another state. You were just casually in the neighbourhood?" Hiccup asked as he looked at the woman who raised him with suspicion.

Not being able to properly lie was not the only trait Valka shared with her son. Long brown hair, green eyes, she was tall and lithe, much like Hiccup.

"Mom, dad, why are you two really here and who exactly are your friends?" He asked. He didn't believe for one second that this was just a casual visit. Liam and Celia looked much younger than his parents. In fact Hiccup would guess that they were about his age. That thought made his brain halt and backtrack. He looked at the two people his parents had brought with them, they were watching him with looks of amusement. He then looked at his parents again and his eyes widened.

"OH MY THOR!" ARE YOU GUYS SERIOUS!" He screeched putting two and two together. "ARE YOU TRYING TO SET ME UP?!"

"Well son" Stoick mumbled as he stroked his beard. "You see…."

"Well you haven't brought anyone home in a long time." Valka cut in. "Actually you've never brought anyone home."

"Oh my Thor mom!" Hiccup mumbled. "I get that I don't go out much but I am in a relationship right now. A very good one."

"Son" Stoick said as he as gently as possible put his hand on Hiccup's shoulder. "You don't have to make up something for us. Won't you at least give the candidates we've chosen a chance."

"Dad…. eh…. I'm not making anything up." Hiccup murmured and then he frowned. "Wait, why did you invite a girl AND a guy?!"

Valka was now blushing slightly. "Well Hiccup, son, sweetheart." She quickly said. "We didn't actually know which way you swung."

"Please tell me you're joking?" Hiccup mumbled as his cheeks were getting redder and redder. He took a glance at Liam who merely winked at him.

"Okay look" Hiccup said as he held his hands up. "I know we haven't talked much with my work being so demanding but I kid you not. I am in a serious relationship." He turned to Liam and Celia, "I'm sure both of you are really nice and I'm sorry if my parents convinced you to come with them for 'cough' a matchmaking session, but I already have someone special."

"Son, really." Valka mumbled as she looked at her baby skeptically.

"Yes mom."

"So when do we meet the lucky lady?" His father now asked.

"Well" Hiccup nervously said just as Astrid stepped out of his bedroom dressed in a pink fuzzy short bathrobe and slippers while sporting bed hair. 'Speak of the devil and she will come' Hiccup thought as Astrid's eyes widened upon seeing the guests.

Astrid blushed a bit as she looked at the group. "Hiccup honey, you didn't tell me we'd have guests." She mumbled a little embarrassed at being caught in her bathrobe.

"I didn't know we'd have guests." Hiccup chuckled as he introduced his girlfriend, who tried to smooth down her hair which was sticking up in various odd angles.

"Mom, dad, Celia, Liam, this is my girlfriend Astrid. Astrid these are my parents Stoick and Valka and apparently the blind dates they wanted to set me up with." Hiccup introduced. His father and mother awkwardly shook Astrid's hand.

"So you two live together?" His dad asked curiously.

"For a couple of months now." Hiccup told them. "It was right around the time Snotlout convinced his dad to give him money to head to Budapest."

"Speaking of your cousin, where is he now?" Valka asked.

"Somewhere in Giza" Hiccup and Astrid said in unison.

"Giza? What is that boy doing in Giza?" Valka asked perplexed.

"I think he was searching for the cashmere shawl his mom forgot in his apartment." Hiccup told them only to get looks of disbelief and curiosity.

"I don't get it." Liam mumbled as Celia nodded. It was then that Astrid noticed the time on Hiccup's wall clock.

"Hiccup why didn't you wake me! It's already this late!" She suddenly shouted. "I'm going to be late for work!"

Astrid bid his guests farewell as she was quickly going to get herself ready. They heard the shower running and Hiccup continued to answer some of the questions his parents had while serving some snacks.

It was maybe ten to fifteen minutes later when Astrid's voice rang through the room "Hiccup darling have you seen my black leather corset?!"

Hiccup's blush came back tenfolds as he shouted back "Check in the closet!"

"It isn't there!" Astrid shouted once more. "Only the red one with the lace you like so much is there!"

"Oh god!" Hiccup mumbled as he buried his face in his hands.

"Nevermind honey. Found it!"

Not long thereafter Astrid asked again "Hiccup have you seen my whip?!"

"Gods kill me now." Hiccup mumbled. "It's on the ironing board!" He shouted back as he saw his guests blush as well. His dad's face was already matching his beard.

"Not the bullwhip. I meant the short one. You know my cat o' nine tails!" Astrid shouted back as she could be heard rummaging through the room.

Hiccup, already as scarlet red as a tomato, shouted "Check under the bed! It should be with your riding crop!" He cleared his throat and then turned back to his guests. "Sorry about that." He quickly apologized. Both Liam and Celia nodded but wouldn't meet his eyes while his father pulled him close and whispered "Son, tell me honestly, is your girlfriend well... you know?"

Hiccup thought that Astrid might have been found out. He really didn't know how his parents would react if they found out he has been dating a demon for the past few months. Hiccup nervously gulped. "Eh dad…. What do you mean?" He asked while nervously folding his hands on his lap.

His father whispered again in an understanding tone. "Son, you know what I mean. Is your girlfriend a dominatrix? Because son you can tell us anything. There is no need to hide. We love you just the way you are."

Hiccup blinked a few times as if trying to process his father's words. It took him a moment before he had figured out what his dad meant. "Oh my gosh dad no!" he quickly sputtered out. He could actually see how his father came to that conclusion. "Dad really!" Hiccup told Stoick who merely hummed in understanding. With a groan he realised that he might have to tell them eventually about Astrid's true job and hope for the best.

"Uhm" Was voiced causing Hiccup and his dad to look at Celia. She looked a bit uncomfortable and was blushing. "I was wondering. What exactly is a dominatrix?" They looked at her and Liam, who sat next to her, let out an uncomfortable cough before grabbing his phone and googling it for her. Still not looking Hiccup in the eye he thrusted the phone to Celia. Her eyes widened and her cheeks flamed up when she read the meaning.

"OH MYYYY" She exclaimed while looking all flustered.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **Vala (whistling innocently)**

 **warorpeace: (-_-)**

 **Vala: "What?"**

 **warorpeace: "Nothing" (mutters) "perv"**

 **Vala: "I don't see you complaining!"**

 **warorpeace: (whistles innocently) "psst, what is a dominatrix?"**

 **Vala: (shows Google search)**

 **warorpeace: O_O**

 **Vala: "You alright?"**

 **warorpeace: O_O**

 **Vala: "uhm….. I think I broke him… anybody? Help?!"**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

It was a warm and sunny day and Hiccup and Astrid were strolling through the park. "So you'll come?" She asked excitedly.

"Of course Astrid. I would love to meet the rest of your family." Hiccup told her as they walked along the path. The birds were chirping and a warm breeze blew by causing some of Astrid's hair to fly into her mouth. She sputtered which caused Hiccup to laugh.

"Har har" Astrid smiled as she playfully punched Hiccup on the shoulder. They rounded the corner when they spotted the twins sitting under a tree. I looked like they were moping about.

"Well that is new." Hiccup commented as they approached the twins. "Usually they're off causing chaos."

"Hi guys" Hiccup and Astrid greeted as they stood before them. Ruffnut and Tuffnut only looked up slightly, mumbled a low "Hello", before going back to picking at the grass.

"Okay what is going on you two?" Astrid asked confused. She might have only known the twins for a short while but them sitting quietly like this was making her worried.

"Not much." Ruffnut mumbled then looked around the nearly empty park. "Why are you guys here today?"

"Well we were heading to a restaurant because Astrid melted my counter and talking about meeting the rest of her family." Hiccup told them. He saw their eyes light up briefly at the comment.

Astrid huffed. "It's not like I did it intentionally."

"Astrid I don't think you did it intentionally or accidentally. You were just boiling an egg." Hiccup mumbled as he scratched his head in confusion.

"Eh…. I think Hiccup should do the cooking from now on." Tuffnut stated as he looked between the two.

"That's what my father said." Astrid huffed as she crossed her arms.

"Well you did give Lucifer food poisoning." Hiccup brought up. "And you did mention that your little brother ran to the toilet after trying your….. What did you call it again….oh yeah, yaknog."

Astrid's eye twitched as the twins tried to stifle their laughter. She then turned back to them. "Don't think this is over. No changing the subject anymore!"

"Well…." Ruffnut started but before she could say anything else Eret appeared from out of some bushes brandishing a stake and silver cross in one hand.

"Stop right there you demon!" He shouted as he pointed the stake at them with one hand while getting the leafs out of his hair with his other hand. "You will not escape the best demon hunter ever!" He boasted.

"Oh boy" Hiccup mumbled as he saw Astrid stiffen and the twins looking confused.

"Eret aren't you a gigolo?" Hiccup asked aloud.

"That was only my cover!" Eret proclaimed. "I used to get close to the demons!"

"Now Eret, maybe we can talk about this. Astrid isn't…." Hiccup started but was cut off by Eret who looked at him perplexed. "Astrid? Why would I target Astrid?"

"If not Astrid then who are you targeting?!" Hiccup now asked. This whole situation was getting confusing.

"Who else but those two demons there!" Eret stated while pointing to the twins.

"Us!" Tuffnut and Ruffnut shouted while Astrid and Hiccup shouted in unison "Them!"

"Eret sweety I'm no demon." Ruffnut laughed as she latched onto his bicep lightning fast. Eret let out a girlish scream and swung his arm wildly, trying to get the woman off. "Get off me you hellspawn!" He shouted but that just made Ruffnut giggle.

"No need to play hard to get Eret baby" Ruffnut said as she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively before purring "We could have so much fun." Meanwhile Tuffnut was gagging at his sister's antics again.

"Let's settle down here." Hiccup said as he got between Ruffnut and Eret. "I can assure you that the twins aren't demons." Hiccup said to Eret. "Ruffnut, maybe you should try flowers first?" He suggested to Ruffnut who went from glaring at Hiccup to looking pensive.

"So you want me to believe that the twins aren't demons." Eret mumbled. "Chaos follows in their wake. What are they if not demons?"

"Well technically I would tell you that they are angels but I doubt you'd believe that with the whole chaos and destruction following them." Hiccup stated as Eret let out a disbelieving scoft. "Let's just say the twins are just the twins and the chaos has nothing to do with them being demons."

"All this activity has gotten us off track." Astrid stated with her hands on her hips. She then pointed a finger at Ruffnut "You no chasing demon hunters until after the first date." She then pointed to Eret "You no chasing after these two."

"But it's my job!" Eret tried to argue.

"Today it isn't." Astrid said with a voice of authority. "Now sit and be a good demon hunter!"

Eret gulped as he looked at Hiccup's girlfriend. It looked like the woman was very serious.

Astrid then turned back to the twins. "Alright what has you two in such a slump?"

Tuffnut couldn't take it anymore and wailed "CHICKEN IS GETTING SACRIFICED BY A CULT!"

"That…. was not the answer I was expecting." Hiccup mumbled. "What exactly happened?"

"Well…." Ruffnut let out a nervous chuckle. "We were near a ranch out of town and were watching this cult that had established its base there. These guys were worshipping Lucifer, and you know what a hottie he is." Ruffnut giggled as Astrid rolled her eyes a little.

"So a cult worshipping Lucifer on the outskirts of town." Hiccup muttered. 'What next, a ballet performed by angels?' he asked himself. "How did they even get your chicken?"

Eret nodded as he was wondering that as well. Tuffnut twiddled his thumbs. "We maybe, kind of, joined the cult." He murmured.

"YOU TWO DID WHAT!" Hiccup and Astrid shouted in unison. Eret winced at the volume.

"Hey, it looked fun!" Ruffnut defended. "They were blowing up stuff and worshipping a hottie. What more could this gal ask for?!"

"Why do I have a feeling that the decision to join the cult was entirely Ruffnut's idea." Eret muttered as he listened to the story.

"So anyway, we join" Tuffnut told them "But we ended up getting kicked out last night."

"Wait…. You got kicked out by a cult?" Eret asked while looking at the twins with wide eyes. "We are talking, brainwashing, increase members at all cost type of cult right?" He asked just to be sure. The twins nodded. "I'm afraid to ask what you two did to get tossed out." Eret was sure the sentiment was shared by Hiccup and Astrid.

"You know that still doesn't explain the chicken thing." Hiccup spoke up.

"Those…. Those… people kept Chicken!" Tuffnut cried and used Eret as a handkerchief. "They are planning to sacrifice him tonight!"

"Like hell they will!" Astrid suddenly exclaimed before she turned to Eret. "You have a car right?"

"Yes…." Eret quickly answered.

"Good, then you're taking us up to that ranch."

"I am?" Eret asked as he looked a bit scared of Astrid's forcefulness.

"We are getting that chicken back!" She proclaimed.

"We are?!" Tuffnut exclaimed. "WOOOOHOOOO!"

And so a reluctant Eret, a flirty Ruffnut, an ecstatic Tuffnut and a hungry Hiccup drove out to the ranch where the cult held its activities.

"Astrid, what are you going to do?" Hiccup asked as he saw a glint of madness in her eyes.

"Oh don't worry honey." Astrid assured. "I'm just going to make sure that these people don't take what doesn't belong to them."

"Uhm….. okay…." Hiccup mumbled as they arrived. Astrid got out of the car and sashayed over to the two guards at the gates who stood alert as they noticed her approaching. Before anyone could blink she had them knocked out and on the ground.

"Well are you guys coming?" Astrid asked before making her way inside.

"Hiccup, your girlfriend is badass." Eret stated as the four got out of the car and followed after her, being careful to step over the guards who were knocked out. When they walked into the ranch itself they did not see Astrid.

"Where could she have gone?" Hiccup asked aloud. His question was soon answered when someone flew through a window. "Nevermind." Hiccup said as they went to the building. Inside was already a mass of chaos as Astrid was humming while taking out guard after guard and making her way up to the altar where a man, who seemed to be the cult leader, was pressed up against the wall out of fear.

"Hiccup why does Astrid have horns?" Eret asked as he watched the fight play out. Hiccup hadn't noticed it at first as he was to used to Astrid in her demon attire but he did raise an eyebrow and wondered why she changed.

"Eh…" He said glancing at Eret as another man flew across the pews. "Well, like I said, the twins are angels and astrid, well, she's the demoness." Hiccup let out a nervous chuckle as Eret watched with wide eyes.

"I…. did not expect this." Eret murmured as Astrid finally reached the altar. The twins were cheering her on as she grabbed the cage that they had stuffed Chicken in. She then turned towards the cult leader and said in a very dark and deadly voice "Don't you ever take anything from my friends again. Do you understand me?"

The man was literally shaking as he came face to face with an actual demon. He tried to get a word out but only a small squeaking sound left his mouth.

"Do. you. Understand. Me?" Astrid asked pointedly. The man quickly nodded. Satisfied Astrid turned around, with cage in hand, as the cult leader sagged down against the wall whimpering. Astrid proceeded to hand the cage to Tuffnut who squealed in delight before taking Chicken out and hugging her.

Astrid turned to Hiccup and then purred in his ear causing him to shiver "Come on honey. I could use a big lunch and then maybe dinner."

 **AN:**

 **Vala: (whistles innocently)**

 **The Dragon1010: "What in the world happened here?" (points to cocoon)**

 **Vala: "oh that's just warorpeace."**

 **The Dragon1010: "And why is he… you know….."**

 **Vala: "I broke him last chapter remember. I only had duct tape on hand. This is all I could do."**

 **warorpeace:(muffled screaming)**

 **The Dragon1010: "You know what. I'm not even surprised. What's next?"**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Hiccup looked in the mirror as he straightened his tie for what was probably the hundredth time. Tonight Astrid was taking him to her family's house in Hell and he wanted to look his best.

Hiccup heard the telltale sound of Astrid arriving. This time she had poofed onto his bed and was lazily stretched out while watching him. "Honey you take longer than me to get ready." She commented. "Don't tell me you're nervous."

"Well I am meeting your family."

"You already met daddy and he loves you." Astrid giggled. "And I also already met you parents."

"Yeah…." Hiccup mumbled. "They think you're a dominatrix."

Astrid merely hummed as she watched her boyfriend. "And that's so bad how?" Hiccup gulped as he saw the predatory gleam in the mirror as Astrid stood up and approached him from behind. She wrapped her arms around his neck. He felt her hot breath on his cheek as she leaned in and whispered in his ear "You certainly weren't complaining last night." Hiccup let out a cough as his cheeks pinked.

Astrid smiled that wicked smile as Hiccup changed the subject by telling her that they were going to be late. He quickly grabbed his house keys, his phone and a metal tin. Astrid took his arm and poofed them both to her parents' house. They landed in front of a large mansion which had a moat of molten lava flowing around it. The sky looked red and the flowers that had been planted in several pot looked hungry. Hiccup let out a nervous gulp as Astrid rang the doorbell which let out an ear piercing shriek.

The large metal doors opened on their own and Astrid and Hiccup stepped inside. Hiccup looked at the spooky interior of the foyer when a familiar voice caught his attention "Snooky!" Was shouted as Astrid's father came to welcome them. Astrid gave her dad a hug and Hiccup shook his hand before handing him the metal tin.

"Is this what I think it is?" Solei asked as he was giddy.

"Freshly baked butterscotch cookies." Hiccup told him. He was then enveloped in a hug. Astrid merely facepalmed as her father hid the cookies before her mother saw them.

"Dad no sugar before dinner." Astrid warned as they walked towards the dining room.

"But sweetie!" Her dad whined. He had stuffed the metal tin in his suit and was trying to act inconspicuous. It however wasn't working as Hiccup next saw a woman who looked a lot like Astrid striding forward.

"Solei what are you hiding?!" She asked with her hands on her hips.

"Nothing honey." He tried to deny but one look from the woman had him handing the tin of cookies over.

"You should share more dear husband." The woman laughed as she set the tin on a table. Solei sulked as he looked longingly at the cookies.

"Hello young man. You must be Hiccup. I'm Ella, Astrid's mother but you can call me mom if you want." She winked at Hiccup. "Dinner is almost done, and yes Solei you can have some cookies after."

"See, mom likes you." Astrid smiled. "Now come on. I'm sure the little brat is around here somewhere."

"Your little brother?" Hiccup asked as he looked around. The dining room was brightly lit and he couldn't spot the brother Astrid was talking about. Just before he could ask something a large lump landed on him from above.

"Ack!" Hiccup sputtered as he lay there on the floor with a wiggling mass above him.

"Matthew! Get off of Hiccup!" He hear Astrid growl as the lump above him snickered. Hiccup stood up and saw a small boy hiding behind Astrid's legs.

"Well hello. You must be Astrid's brother." He said before extending his hand only to yank it back swiftly. Hiccup saw the boy glare and growl at him.

"Matthew no biting!" Astrid admonished.

"Sorry about that he's a bit shy." Astrid told him just as the boy delivered a swift kick to Hiccup's shin. She picked up her brother with one arm and whispered something in his ear. Hiccup saw the kid looking at her with wide eyes before swiftly shaking his head.

"It's alright, really." Hiccup told her as she put her grumbling brother in his seat at the table. He had babysat in high school and knew that some kids don't immediately warm up to you, especially if you are dating a close family member of theirs.

Astrid's father and mother came back into the dining room and they were carrying plates of food. Hiccup and Astrid helped them with the plates and then Astrid asked "Isn't granny coming to dinner?"

Hiccup saw the looks Astrid's parents were shooting each other. "Well you know how mother is." Ella stated she then looked at Hiccup "Sorry Hiccup but I'm afraid my mother doesn't like humans much."

"She doesn't like anything much." Hiccup heard Solei grumble. Ella then proceeded to step on her husband's foot. "Oh hush you."

"I'm sure granny will love Hiccup." Astrid told her parents. "Let me just go get her." She suggested and was out of the room before anyone could say anything. Soon everyone heard a scuffle happening upstairs. It didn't take long for Astrid to return with her grandmother slung over her shoulder.

"Astrid put me down now!" The old woman warned. "I have had it with your suitors."

"Granny you'll like Hiccup I promise." Astrid told her as she put him down. "And besides are you really going to miss dinner?"

Once the old woman was back on the ground she turned and looked Hiccup up and down. "This one doesn't seem very demony."

"That's because Hiccup is human granny." Astrid told her.

"Human?!" The old woman shrieked as her cane stomped down onto the tile. She walked a circle around Hiccup, inspecting him before turning back to her granddaughter. "Well he does have a nice behind. I guess I can tolerate a human." Hiccup flushed red as they took their seats.

"Mother, Hiccup here cooks." Solei said. The old woman's eyes narrowed as Hiccup let out a nervous gulp.

"Are you saying your own daughter can't cook?!" Granny accused.

"Mother…. She gave cousin Lucy food poisoning." Ella mumbled.

"So?" The old woman asked. "Lucifer always had a weak stomach! My baby doll can make quite the delicacies."

"So Hiccup what do you do for a living?" Ella asked.

"Well I'm a web designer." He told them.

"Oh that's right. My husband mentioned some of that. Also something about a yellow eating game?"

"Pacman mom." Astrid corrected. Her little brother however snorted. "Who plays Pacman these days?"

"I happened to like it." Solei told his son. "Maybe now I can try and play those video games with you."

"You wouldn't understand them." Matthew mumbled.

"We'll see." Solei stated as he got a gleam in his eyes.

"So tell me Hiccup, as a web designer, who do you work under?" Granny asked as everyone took some food.

"I'm self employed." Hiccup told them.

"It must be quite a harsh job with the tech industry growing at such a rapid pace." Granny said causing the table to fall silent as they all looked at her curiously. "What?!"

"You know what he's talking about?" Solei asked his mother in law.

"Of course I do!" Granny grumbled. "I don't live under a rock like you. I'm hip!" She stated and then pulled out a mobile phone. "See I even have Facebook."

"Mother where did you get that phone?" Ella asked as she looked at the phone. It wasn't a cheap one either. "Did one of your boytoys give you that?"

"Oh no sweetie. This model isn't on the market yet." Granny told them. "I have some very lucrative contracts with some CEO's in Silicon Valley."

Hiccup's eyes widened while Astrid cheered "You go granny!"

The dinner progressed steadily from there and they were halfway through when rapid knocking could be heard on the front door. "I wonder who that is?" Solei mumbled as he excused himself to answer the door. He came back a few moments later with four demons behind him. One of the demons had an ox head, another had an eagle's head while the other two looked human.

Besides him Hiccup heard Astrid groan. "What do you four want?" She ground out while clenching her fists. Hiccup noticed that she'd need new utensils as the fork and knife were now bent.

"Why lovely miss." The eagle headed demon began. "We have heard you were here and we came to court you on this joyous day."

"Didn't I already reject you lot?" Astrid muttered. Hiccup looked at the four demons and already had a pretty good idea what was going on. Astrid had told him what usually happens when she was in Hell. "Besides I'm already in a relationship."

The ox headed demon flexed his muscles for her causing Astrid to let out another groan of exasperation. "A beauty such as you should be with a strong demon! Not some wimpy human."

"Excuse me?!" Hiccup took offense as he glared at the demons who just snickered. The human looking two weren't any better. One looked like a demon version of Fabio with his long wavy hair and abs, the other was slightly smaller but preened just as much as a peacock.

"Now hold on a darn tootin minute." Granny growled as she looked at everyone. "Now I am the matriarch of this family and I decide which individual is worthy of my little baby doll."

"Granny!" Astrid shouted. "I'm not little anymore."

"Well you certainly aren't flat chested anymore." Granny remarked for everyone to hear causing Astrid to flush red. "Now as I was saying I will decide who is worthy of my granddaughter and if you fail I'll feed you to my pet Cerberus!"

"What do you propose?" Hiccup asked. Granny gave him a smile as she saw the other four demons still hesitating. Astrid just laid her head on the table as her mother patted her shoulder. Her little brother however was watching the exchange with glee.

"Granny you gonna have them duel?" Matthew asked as he eyed the different weapons around the room. There were a set of axes lining the wall. Another wall had a few maces and other weapons displayed. Hiccup could now guess where Astrid's weapon obsession came from.

"I have a better idea." Granny smirked before ruffling the boy's hair. "Astrid honey go bring that new recipe you tried. Astrid's head shot up at that. "We're going to have your suitors try it out. Whoever stays upright is the winner."

"Of course granny." Astrid said before she disappeared into the kitchen.

"Oh Satan, she's going to kill everybody." Solei whined.

"Oh hush you." Granny admonished as Astrid came back with a tray containing five goblets of bubbling ooze. Hiccup raised his brow at the concoction.

"What is that?" he asked as she set the five goblets on the table.

"My new yaknog recipe." Astrid proudly proclaimed. "I call it Yaknog 4.0"

Hiccup blinked and then looked at the goblet again. Astrid had made him taste the first version. He ended up discreetly throwing the pitcher out of his apartment window. The 'yaknog' proceeded to dissolve part of the pavement outside.

"What…. happened to the other two versions?" He managed to ask as he immediately regretted it. Ella and Solei shuddered while Astrid looked sheepish. He hear something mumbled about 'biohazard' and 'screaming souls'.

"Well boys" Granny smirked as she indicated towards the goblets. Hiccup sighed and grabbed one. The four demons also took one. Hiccup took a nervous gulp before he downed the liquid in one go. He placed the goblet back onto the table and leaned against the chair as his face was turning green. He shuddered at the taste and wanted to scrub his mouth with grass but he did manage to stay upright.

"Well now." Granny said looking quite surprised. "I'm not getting rid of you that easy am I." She mumbled. Hiccup still queasy gave a "huh?" as he looked where Solei pointed. He looked to his left and saw the other demons knocked out on the floor.

"Amazing" Ella commented. "That young man has an iron stomach."

"Ho…...Hold….u...up!" Came a strangled voice from the ground. Everyone looked and saw that the Fabio look-alike was struggling to get up. "I'm not out yet!" He said while steadying himself on the table.

"Yes you are." Granny told him. "You did faint."

"I will not be bested by some human!" The demon growled as he glared at Hiccup. "What the heck did I just drink?!"

"My special drink." Astrid told him as she crossed her arms and leveled her own glare at him.

"Gods woman you have got to be kidding me." The demon growled. "You better learn to cook. No woman of mine will feed me that swill."

"EXCUSE ME!" Astrid shouted as she wanted to beat the man to a pulp. Hiccup's hand however stopped her. He turned and and glared fiercely at the demon.

"Astrid hand me those two rapiers." he said indicating to the wall near the fireplace. Everyone looked at him in confusion but Astrid got him the weapons. He threw one to the demon who deftly caught it.

"And just what is this human?" The demon asked perplexed.

"You insulted my girlfriend. I demand satisfaction." Hiccup told him as he held his weapon at the ready.

"Hiccup" Astrid asked worriedly.

"Don't worry Astrid. I got this." Hiccup assured her. The Fabio look-alike merely huffed and rolled his eyes before lunging at Hiccup.

Hiccup deftly performed a Passato Sotto, dropping beneath his opponent's weapon. He placed his hand on the floor and stabbed with the rapier, drawing first blood.

Fabio stepped back after being hit before lunging at Hiccup again who parried the blow this time before following up with a Riposte. The rapiers continued to clash as the two battled it out in the room. Astrid and her family watched wide eyed as Hiccup proceeded to make a fool of the demon by side stepping and having him jab the rapier in the wooden door.

"I'll fix that!" Hiccup told them as the fight continued. Fabio screamed when Hiccup managed to cut off a lock of his hair. They were still clashing swords when Hiccup's phone rang. "Oh you have got to be kidding me!" Hiccup grumbled as he created some distance between them 'How do I even have reception in Hell?' he wondered as he answered the phone while avoiding the jabs from his opponent.

"Snotlout not now!" He spoke into the receiver. "No I can not help you right now. I don't care if you are in Australia facing off against a giant spider for your precious vintage Playboy magazines. I'm kind of busy now." Hiccup told him before hanging up and performing another parry.

"Okay time to end this." Hiccup muttered. He sent his rapier right between the hilt and yanked it away. He placed his own sword against the demon's throat and hissed "If you ever insult my girlfriend again I'm going to make this seem like a cake walk."

The Fabio look-alike gulped and nodded before he was yanked away by his hair. Hiccup saw granny standing there who then proceeded to wink at him. "I'll show this one out." She told him sweetly as she dragged the demon away. They watched her go and a few minutes later they heard a yelp from the front door.

"Mother must have thrown him in the lava moat." Ella mused before turning to Hiccup. "Where did you learn that Hiccup?"

Hiccup rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Mom is a fencing instructor." He told them. "She trained me since I could hold a sword."

"Well I must say I'm impressed." Granny stated as she came back. "Anyone who is willing to defend my granddaughter like that has my blessing."

Hiccup noticed that Astrid was giving him a rather sultry look. His cheeks pinked as he approached her. "I hope you didn't mind me stepping in like that." He mumbled. Astrid meanwhile was sporting a devious smirk. She leaned in closed and said "On the contrary, you being that assertive has gotten me quite fired up."

Hiccup let out another nervous gulp as he saw his girlfriend leering at him. "Uhm… Astrid?"

Granny coughed getting her daughter, son in law's and grandson's attention. "Why don't we give them some privacy?" she suggested before herding the three out of the door. Hiccup could have sworn that he saw granny sent a wink their way.

"Hiccup…." Astrid purred and he came back to reality. 'Oh Hell' he thought before Astrid's lips descended on him.

 **-The End?-**

 **AN:**

 **Dragon1010: "What did I just read?"**

 **Warorpeace: "What did I just read?!"**

 **Vala: "I was bored!"**

 **Dragon1010: "So you decided to write this?"**

 **Vala: "I was bored! It was either this or getting ready for Halloween!"**

 **Dragon1010: "But don't you already have something for your readers on Halloween?"**

 **Vala: "Well it's supposed to be a treat." XD**

 **Warorpeace: "What the hell did I just read?!"**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

It was a normal day for Hiccup. He had made breakfast for Astrid and himself. She had kissed all coherent thought out of him before heading to work and when lunch rolled around Hiccup made himself a triple decker sandwich. He had just gotten off the phone with a difficult client and was about to bite into his sandwich when his Facebook messenger dinged. Hiccup put his sandwich down and looked at his phone. He raised a brow when he saw that it was a friend request and message from granny Hofferson. He accepted the request and then looked at the message. "I seem to have come across this. Would you like to have it?" read the message as Hiccup saw a picture of a black egg. Hiccup guessed that it might be an ornament of some sort and he was actually curious so he messaged granny Hofferson back that he could try and take it. He got a message back that read "Great! I'll drop by in a few minutes."

Hiccup put his phone down and began eating his lunch. There was a poof in his living room when he had finished a quarter of his sandwich. Hiccup put down his food and washed his hands before coming out to greet granny.

"There you are sonny." Granny laughed before showing him the item. It was larger than he expected. Slightly larger than a human baby. She had it wrapped in a colorful knitted bundle that looked like a tote bag and handed it to Hiccup.

"Now deary keep it warm for just a bit longer. It's almost ready to hatch." Granny told him with a smile.

"Hatch?" Hiccup asked shocked. "Wait…. This is an actual egg?"

"Of course dearie. It's really harmless." Granny laughed before poofing out of the living room. "Take good care of it!" was the last thing Hiccup heard as he looked down at the egg.

He decided to take the egg and the apparent egg cozy it was in and head back to the kitchen where his sandwich was but before he could even reach the kitchen his doorbell rang. Hiccup frowned as he wasn't expecting anyone today.

"Cuz it's me!" Came from the other side of the door in a sweeter tone than was normal if it was Snotlout. Hiccup opened the door to indeed see his cousin standing there.

"Snotlout why are you here?" Hiccup asked confused. "Didn't you already gather all of your furniture about now?"

"Well you see….." Snotlout trailed off as he stepped inside while twiddling his thumbs. He then noticed the large egg that Hiccup was carrying. "What….. Is…. THAT?!"

Hiccup looked to where Snotlout was pointing. "An egg." He deadpanned.

"Where did you get such a huge one?"

"Astrid's grandmother brought it by." Hiccup explained. "Apparently it's supposed to hatch any time now."

"And do you know what kind of egg it is?" Snotlout now asked a bit fearfully as he took a step back.

"No idea" Hiccup mumbled as Snotlout followed him into the kitchen.

"So wait back up." Snotlout muttered. "You just took a mysterious egg from Astrid's demon grandmother which could hatch anytime now. ARE YOU CRAZY?!"

Hiccup just shrugged. "It can't possibly be anything bad." He told his cousin who was watching the egg vibrate a bit.

"Eh Hiccup, I think it's about to hatch." Snotlout mumbled as Hiccup placed the large egg on the counter. The egg was shaking and some cracks had started forming. Soon a black snout made its way out of one of the cracks.

"This reminds me of a scene from Jurassic park." Snotlout mumbled as he kept his distance while Hiccup helped the creature remove the egg shell parts. Soon a black scaly head with vibrant green eyes was poking out. Hiccup got the creature out of the rest of the egg and placed him on the counter.

Snotlout blinked at the little thing that was sniffing everything. "It's a black reptile." He mumbled as he took a few steps closer once he was sure that it wasn't dangerous.

"Well I think I know what it is." Hiccup let out a laugh as he pointed towards some small wings that the baby was trying to flap.

"A reptile with wings?" Snotlout asked only to have a small fireball hit him in the face.

"ACK!" Snotlout shouted as he closed his eyes. When he opened them again he immediately felt his face. He stopped at his eyebrows and noticed that they had been singed off. There was some type of growling and both Hiccup and Snotlout noticed that the baby was giving them his version of a laugh.

"That thing did this on purpose!" Snotlout accused.

"That 'thing' Snotlout is a baby dragon." Hiccup laughed until he noticed that said baby dragon had just gobbled up his sandwich. "You're still hungry aren't you?" Hiccup asked as the little dragon let himself be picked up. It cuddled into Hiccup's arms, showing off toothless gums.

"Huh toothless" Hiccup observed.

"Dragon or not Hiccup that thing just burned off my eyebrows." Snotlout commented. The baby dragon then turned to Snotlout while still cuddling in Hiccup's arms, giving the shorter man a view of some sharp teeth.

"See! See!" Snotlout shouted as Hiccup observed the retractable teeth.

The little dragon let out a little fireball before acting all cute for Hiccup who placed him back on the counter before going to the fridge. Snotlout stood next to the counter and he could have sworn that the little dragon shot him a 'you-are-my-prey' look.

"Hiccup are you going to keep this thing?"

"Why not Snot?" Hiccup asked as he placed several tupperware containers on the counter. "Now what do dragons actually like to eat?" He asked aloud. "What do you think Toothless?" He asked as the little dragon cocked it's head quizzically before deciding that he liked the name. Toothless inched forward and began sniffing the containers.

"Who calls a dragon Toothless?" Snotlout remarked which caused said dragon to turn around and glare at the man.

"Hiccup I'm telling you that thing is evil!" Snotlout whined.

"Don't be a dramaqueen Snotlout." Hiccup huffed as Toothless turned his nose up at a container of broccoli.

"Okay so no vegetables." Hiccup mumbled. Toothless then began pawing at the container of roasted salmon that Hiccup had made for dinner last night.

"Fish bud?" Hiccup asked as Toothless wagged his tail happily.

Hiccup placed the container in the microwave before he returned to playing with the baby dragon. "So what did you want to ask Snot?"

"Right" Snotlout said as he remembered why he came here in the first place. "I just need one more piece back."

"What is it Snot? I'm sure Astrid will tell you the location if you bribe her with those glazed donuts again."

"Yeah…." Snotlout mumbled as the microwave dinged. Hiccup got the container out and set it on the counter for Toothless who dug into it greedily.

"I'll message Astrid that you are here. I might as well ask her what dragons eat." Hiccup told him as he opened his Facebook.

"Demons have Facebook?" Snotlout asked surprised. Hiccup nodded and added "and way better internet than us."

"Hey Astrid Snot is here looking for another piece and do you know what dragons like to eat other than salmon?" He typed before sending it. Hiccup got a reaction in no time. Or more precisely a rapid succession of texts.

"What piece?"

"Wait dragon?!"

"What dragon?!"

"Where did you get a dragon?"

"Hold on I'm coming as soon as I sent this soul into the boiling pit!"

In no time they heard the telltale poof of Astrid who appeared in the living room in all her demon glory. She was still carrying a pitchfork and also a net.

"What's the net for?" Hiccup asked as he had picked Toothless up and was cradling him in his arms.

"A couple of souls thought they would try escaping." Astrid smirked wickedly which told Hiccup that she had caught them. She then looked towards the little black dragon who had its big green eyes trained on her.

"Oh right. Your grandmother dropped him off after messaging me if I wanted an egg." Hiccup explained. "I thought it was an ornament at first but isn't he cute?!" As if in response Toothless let out a yip before cuddling closer.

"Oh granny!" Astrid muttered in exasperation. "She must have gotten one from one of her boytoys." Astrid explained.

"Wait your grandmother has boytoys?!" Snotlout suddenly asked astonished.

"Don't ask" Astrid warned.

"Right"

"So what are you looking for?" She then asked.

"Eh….." Snotlout turned a bit crimson as all eyes were on him now. "So….. I had a box next to my vintage Playboy collection." He mumbled.

"Oh you mean your box of toys." Astrid stated.

"Shhhhh!" Snotlout hushed as his face resembled that of a tomato. "Do you want everyone to hear?!"

"If you are looking for that then it's somewhere in Saint Petersburg." She told him. "I expect more donuts on Friday."

"Right!" Snotlout said before quickly bidding his goodbyes and dashing out of the door.

"I don't even want to know." Hiccup mumbled as he shook his head before placing Toothless on the couch. The little dragon was looking between Hiccup and Astrid with curiosity before it found a pillow more interesting.

"You know how we've been talking about getting a pet." Hiccup told Astrid who observed the baby dragon wrestling with a cushion.

"I was thinking more along the lines of a cat." Astrid mumbled. "Not a dragon."

"Well…. He's like a cat." Hiccup pointed out. "A….. somewhat fire breathing cat."

"A dragon isn't something normal couples get." Astrid told him.

"Since when are we a normal couple?" Hiccup countered.

"Touche" Astrid laughed. "I guess it wouldn't hurt. He is quite adorable. I'd just advise against giving any dragons eels."

"Why?" Hiccup asked as he pulled Astrid close and gave her a peck on the cheek.

"They tend to go crazy." She explained.

"Oh" Was all Hiccup said before Astrid pulled him in for a not so chaste kiss. Toothless who had gone back to observing them covered his eyes with his paws.

Hiccup raised a brow quizzically when he noticed that. "Dragons are pretty smart." Astrid told him. "I have to get back to work now. Souls to torment and all that. I'll see you tonight honey." She said before adding "I'll bring some dragon toys with me." And with one final kiss she was gone again.

Hiccup turned to the little dragon who was now wagging his tail.

When Astrid returned she had with her a small bed for Toothless as well as some squeaky fish shaped stuffed toys. Astrid found her boyfriend and the baby dragon in the most interesting way. He was working in his office and the little dragon was snoring away on his head.

She greeted him before they placed Toothless in his new bed.

"So honey" She purred once they were in the bedroom. "How about we…"

Toothless woke up not long after when he heard noises from somewhere in the apartment. His ears stood up straight as he trotted out of bed followed the noises. Curious Toothless came to a closed door and pressed his earplate to it.

Breathless noises were coming from the other side of the door as Toothless' ears perked. They however suddenly stopped and Toothless heard the following conversation.

"Eh….. Hiccup, I'm stuck."

"What do you mean you're stuck?! Wait stop tugging!"

"I think I might have used the wrong 'oil'."

There was some rummaging… before Hiccup spoke again "Astrid why is Demonic fast drying super glue next to the oil?"

There was a nervous chuckle. "I was fixing my heel that broke this morning."

"Youch! Astrid please stop tugging on it!"

"I can't help it! My hands are stuck. We could probably use alcohol to get our self loose but it will hurt."

"Great…. Pain…. Love it."

"Hiccup… are you being serious or sassy?" Astrid asked. "I really don't know anymore with all our bedroom activities."

"Sassy! I'm being sassy!"

There was more shuffling before Hiccup spoke again. "Astrid, next time please check the bottle before you decide to give me a back massage."

 **-The End?-**

 **AN:**

 **Vala: (Eating popcorn while watching the reactions)**

 **warorpeace: O_O**

 **thedragon1010: O_O**

 **thearizona: (Gibbs smacks both thedragon and warorpeace) "Get your minds out of the gutter!"**

 **Vala: "I think everybody's mind was in the gutter" :3**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Hiccup let out a yawn as he dragged his disheveled self out of the bedroom. There was some noise in the kitchen and Hiccup found Astrid fighting with the demon cookie jar…. again.

Hiccup had gotten the cookie jar from Astrid's mother once she learned that Astrid was spending most of her time at Hiccup's apartment. Hiccup remembered her popping in with a gaudy pink cookie jar which had a demonic face painted on it. She explained to Hiccup that Astrid tended to get a wee bit sugar high around Halloween time, and while not as bad as her husband's, he would certainly find himself out of sweets for a few weeks.

The cookie jar turned out to be more than it seemed when Toothless, curious as ever, poked it with his paw. The cookie jar came to life and started talking. Hiccup found out that the cookie jar happily gave him the candy he placed in it but went full on demon-defensive when someone else tried to get at the candy.

"Hey! All I wanted was a Hershey's bar!" Astrid shouted as the cookie jar tried to bite her. Toothless who was also awake hung upside down by his tail from a metal bar in the kitchen while watching the scene unfold. "Damn stingy jar!" Astrid grumbled as the cookie jar stuck out his tongue.

"Astrid?" Hiccup asked while stifling a yawn. "Morning Toothless, Cookie."

Toothless let out a happy yip and flew over to land on Hiccup's head. His disheveled auburn hair making the perfect nest.

"Morning" The cookie jar grumbled. "Can you tell your girlfriend that I won't be swayed!"

"Astrid did you try bribing it again?" Hiccup asked as he started the coffee maker. He had to hand it to Astrid's mom. His chocolate bars were as safe as could be. The day before Halloween he had bought several bags of candy and placed it into the demonic jar. The candy was for the trick-or-treaters and Hiccup walked in on Astrid having a discussion with Cookie to repaint him a less neon color in exchange for some candy. That hadn't worked.

"No…." Astrid told Hiccup sheepishly while the little dragon let out a chortle as he flew back to the counter.

"Astrid did you threaten Cookie again?" Hiccup now asked as he had gotten used to these two duking it out.

"Noooooo….." Astrid said much too quickly.

"What even happened to your stash?" He then asked as he knew they had gotten some candy when Astrid took him trick-or-treating in Hell that morning before heading over to the twins' Halloween bash near midnight. He turned around with mug of coffee in his hand and saw his girlfriend blush. "You ate it all huh?" He guessed.

"I can't help it!" Astrid mumbled. "Halloween demon candy is so delicious. Halloween is also the biggest celebration for demons."

Astrid shot a glare at the cookie jar who laughed at her sugar deprivation woes. Astrid and Cookie were holding a glaring contest when Hiccup's phone beeped. He picked it up from the counter just before Toothless could lick it again. The little dragon found the phone interesting and tried to chew on it, lick it and even use it as a pillow. At least Toothless was focusing on something other than trying to murder his couch. He was happy when Astrid explained that the dragon would likely not get any bigger. The human world did not have the conditions anymore for dragons to grow larger as they did in Hell. At least Toothless only charred a pillow instead of the whole couch.

Hiccup opened the message and saw that it was an email from the twins.

"Hey Astrid, the twins sent the pictures from the party." Hiccup told her, interrupting the glaring contest. She perked up upon hearing that and even Cookie looked interested so Hiccup went and got his laptop to watch the pictures. He placed the laptop on the counter and opened the mail from the twins. Astrid was leaning on Hiccup with her arms around his waist. Cookie, being the curious jar that he was, hopped closer to get a better look. He grumbled when Toothless landed on him wanting a scratch from Hiccup.

He opened the attached link which took them to a cloud site. "Wow that's a lot of photos." Astrid commented. "When did the twins have time to take so many pictures?" She asked as she knew that they were busy with various tricks through the night. She even saw them spiking the large cauldron punch bowl with lord knows what.

"Let's see" Hiccup mumbled as he blushed slightly as Astrid leaned in closer. He clicked on a picture and he immediately had to avert his eyes.

"So that's where granny went." Astrid mumbled as she looked away. On the screen was a picture of Astrid's grandmother dancing on a stripper pole with several men in speedos around her. The twins had extended their invitation to Astrid's family with the reasoning 'the more demons, the better'. During the night Astrid had lost track of her parents and granny.

"She appears to be having the time of her life." Cookie remarked a the demon jar looked at the picture.

"Where did the twins even get a stripper pole?" Astrid asked.

"I've learned not to ask honey."

Hiccup clicked on the next picture and Cookie remarked "Who is the ugly girl?"

"That would be my cousin Snotlout." Hiccup groaned as he now remembered. Snotlout had lost a bet with Astrid and had to dress up at little Bo Peep for the party. He looked at the picture and wondered why Snotlout had lifted up his petticoat and looked like he was fleeing in terror. That was when Hiccup saw the sheep that was behind him.

"I don't remember Snotlout having a sheep even if he was little Bo Peep." Hiccup remarked to Astrid who was trying to stifle her laughter. "Astrid what did you do?"

"You remember Mildew right." Astrid asked and Hiccup nodded as he remembered the twins' grouchy neighbour and his sheep.

"Wait don't tell me that you sicked Mildew's sheep after Snotlout."

Astrid nodded as Hiccup groaned. "Oh look there are Fishlegs and Heather." Astrid said as she clicked on another picture. Heather was dressed as an Oreo cookie while Fishlegs was dressed as a glass of milk. "Aren't they cute together?" Astrid asked as Hiccup nodded in agreement.

The next picture showed Tuffnut and Chicken both dressed as vampires while the picture after that showed Ruffnut, dressed as Morticia, clinging to someone dressed as a mummy. The person was wrapped from head to toe and though you couldn't see their face it didn't take a genius for them to figure out that it was poor Eret. Hiccup was beginning to suspect that Ruffnut had an Eret-dar.

The next picture was one of Astrid's parents who were dancing. Her mother was dressed as a large green snake with big black round eyes while her father was dressed as an shiny red apple. She had to roll her eyes at the obviousness of the costume.

Then they came to pictures of them. There appeared to be several but all of the pictures showed off their costumes. Hiccup had to try and fight the blush that was appearing on his cheeks as he now saw what he was wearing. Astrid had told him with a wink that she would take care of the costumes. On Halloween morning she appeared dressed as a Playboy bunny, pink ears and fluffy cotton tail included, and handed Hiccup his costume.

Hiccup looked at the black material before going to get dressed. They were a bit late as Astrid wanted to go trick or treating in the Underworld. According to her the early bird gets the best candy. Hiccup didn't really check what he was wearing. Astrid just told him it was a demon costume but perhaps he should have looked in the mirror when he saw his girlfriend give him a hungry look. The picture showed off the tight black leather pants, the silk black long sleeved shirt and the red vest which had some small bat-like wings attached to it. He suddenly felt Astrid's arms around him tighten and he blushed as she was feeling him up.

"A…..Astrid" Hiccup gasped out as his coffee and the pictures were forgotten when she purred into his ear "You looked hot." She then giggled as he blushed before pulling him into a searing kiss.

They were heavily making out against the counter when Cookie remarked "Get a room you two!"

Hiccup came up for a breath of air as Astrid's hands roamed all over him. He turned to the cookie jar and said "We did. It's called the kitchen."

"My eyes!" Cookie shouted as things were turning quite graphic on the counter. Toothless decided to do the jar a favor and picked him up before flying to the living room. The last thing Astrid and Hiccup heard was Cookie yelling "Don't drop me you crazy reptile!"

 **-The End?-**

 **AN:**

 **(Meow Meow Meow)**

 **Dragon1010: "Will you stop meowing!"**

 **Vala: "That wasn't me."**

 **(Meow Meow Meoooow!)**

 **Dragon1010: "Then who is meowing?"**

 **Vala: (points warorpece)**

 **Dragon1010: "How?!"**

 **Warorpeace: "MEOW!"**

 **Vala: "Seems like Google (docs) turned him into a Nyan cat."**

 **Dragon1010: "WHAHAHAHAHAHAAHa"**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

'Now what?' Hiccup thought as he surveyed the situation unfolding in his living room when the doorbell rang. It was supposed to be an uneventful weekend but Hiccup learned to accept that with a demon girlfriend things could get crazy, just not this crazy. He went to the door and opened it as the knocking turned frantic.

"Eret?" Hiccup asked with a raised brow as he took in the harried expression on the demon hunter.

"Hiccup we have a situation." Eret exclaimed.

"You're telling me." Hiccup mumbled as he stepped aside to show Eret his living room full of shivering and traumatized demons.

"Oh" Eret mumbled surprised. "So you know."

"Yes I know." Hiccup quietly said as he let the man inside. They went to the kitchen counter as another portal opened. Several new demons fell through it.

"Hiccup!" Was suddenly shouted and both turned around to see Cookie being cornered by several succubi who wanted to cuddle him. Toothless was laying on the armrest, getting petted by a colorful harpy, and let out a chortle at Cookie's unfortunate dilemma.

"Is that a dragon?" Eret asked as he hadn't met Toothless yet.

"Yup" Hiccup told him as he picked Cookie up and out of the reaches of the pouting women.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me!" Snotlout wailed as he came out of the bathroom with a red handprint on his cheek. "The cookie jar can score a couple of women but I can't even impress a water sprite?!"

"Who is that?" Eret wondered as he watched the short man eye some of the female demons who weren't traumatized.

"My cousin." Hiccup sighed as he introduced them just as the harpy petting Toothless screeched at his cousin while Toothless set his pants on fire. "Snotlout meet Eret, Eret meet Snotlout."

"AAAHHH" Snotlout yelled as he ran into the kitchen and used the faucet to put out the fire. "Pleased to meet you." Snotlout said as he inspected the hole in his pants while the little dragon let out a dragonic version of a laugh.

"I swear that that dragon hates me." Snotlout grumbled.

"Don't be so melodramatic Snot." Hiccup sighed. "Toothless is very well behaved."

"For you maybe!" Snotlout countered. "Don't you remember what happened when you asked me to dragonsit?!"

"What happened?" Eret asked as several demons were also leaning in to listen to the conversation. Snotlout's eye twitched as he shot the little dragon a glare.

"The better question is what didn't happen?" Snotlout grumbled. "That crazy reptile ate my dinner, chewed holes in my shoes, usen my back as a scratching post, and set my hair on fire….. Twice!"

Several demons sniggered and gave the cute little black dragon who was laying on his back a few bellyrubs.

Another portal opened and a new demon stumbled through. "They've gotten through the sixth layer!" He shrieked.

"Asmodeus are you alright?" A succubus asked as she helped the disheveled demon to a couch. She held a platter of cookies in front of him and Hiccup realized that he had to bake some more. They were being eaten faster than lightning.

"Of course I'm not alright!" He shrieked. "She almost got me!"

"What of the other Sins?" An ox headed demon asked.

"I fear for their safety!" Asmodeus mumbled as he took a cookie and munched on it. "Beelzebub managed to flee to another part of the realm. I don't know about the others. It might be too late for them."

That statement caused several demons to shudder.

"Isn't he the demon of Lust?" Eret whispered as he eyed the group of demons in the living room who were trying to cheer up poor Asmodeus.

Hiccup nodded and then whispered "It's that bad."

"I never thought that it would be this bad." Eret mumbled as he then asked "But what are they doing in your living room?"

"They started coming in around noon." Hiccup told him. "Seems Astrid was in a meeting when it happened and she sent them here for safety."

"Oh" Eret now understood. He then looked around in confusion "Where is Astrid now?"

"She went to see if she could do something."

"I feel somewhat responsible for this." Eret whispered as he didn't want the whole horde of demons to turn on him.

"How so?" Hiccup asked as he and Eret moved further back into the kitchen. He opened the oven and pulled out some more chocolate chip cookies as he listened to Eret.

"I might have suggested it." Eret told him sheepishly. Cookie who was now sitting on the fridge was looking at the bunter curiously.

"You suggested the invasion of Hell?" Hiccup muttered. Eret held up his hands in a placating. "No No!" Eret quickly said. "It was just supposed to be relaxing." he explained.

"Relaxing….." Hiccup mumbled. "Relaxing?!"

Eret nodded a bit sheepishly. "Have you seen my living room?" Hiccup asked dryly and then gestured to several demons who were still rocking back and forth while muttering the word 'monsters' over and over again. Others simply had a haunted look in their eyes.

Another portal opened and this time two figures rushed through. One was Astrid and Hiccup raised a brow at her being covered in feathers. The other was a big muscular man who had several roosters in his arms. He was panting heavily and when he spotted Asmodeus he thrusted several of the birds at him.

"Satan?! What the hell?" Asmodeus asked as he nearly got some feathers in his mouth.

"Hold these!" Satan growled before taking a deep breath and facing the portal again with a steely determination.

"Wait what are you doing?!" Asmodeus asked perplexed. "You can't just leave your pets with me!"

"I'm going back for the rest!" Satan stated as he took a deep breath. With one foot in the portal he turned towards Asmodeus "If I don't make it back tell them papa was a hero!" He said before stepping through.

Asmodeus and several other demons blinked. "Hero?!" Asmodeus mumbled "More like bat freaking crazy." Several of the roosters clucked in agreement.

"Why hello" Snotlout greeted Astrid from where he was sitting. "Those feathers look fab. Is it a new trend?" He asked trying to stay on her good side. One glare from Astrid silenced him as she walked over to Hiccup who was looking at her worriedly.

"So I'm guessing that you didn't stop them?" He mumbled as he tried to brush some of the feathers off of her.

"I fell into a boar pit which was filled with tar and feathers." Astrid grumbled.

"Why would a boar pit be filled with tar and feathers?" Eret asked. Hiccup, Astrid and several other demons gave him a weird look before he mumbled "Nevermind…. I don't want to know."

"Why don't you get cleaned up honey." Hiccup suggested. "I might have to find another place for the water sprite first though." He told her.

"Undine can stay where she is." Astrid told him as Hiccup noticed Toothless watching Astrid's appearance in curiosity. "I'll get cleaned up after we catch them. I didn't think they would be so fast."

"I think you might need bait." Hiccup suggested as Astrid and several others quirked an eyebrow. "Why chase them if you can get them to come to you."

"And what would you use as bait to attract them?" Eret asked as he noticed wicked smirks appearing on both Hiccup and Astrid.

"I'm so glad you asked Eret." Hiccup said as he and his girlfriend moved closer to him.

"Why do I have a feeling that I'm not going to like this." Eret mumbled.

After that the situation ended very quickly. Even Hiccup was surprised at how quickly. He now sat with Astrid in a giant bathtub in her parents' mansion. He was helping her pick out the feathers that were still stuck. "Who would have thought." Hiccup mumbled.

"Indeed who would have thought." Astrid stated. "All it took from stopping the twins from rampaging through Hell was dangling Eret, dressed in only a speedo, over a pit of lava. If I had known that would work I'd have taken him sooner."

Hiccup hummed in agreement as he continued picking out feathers. Astrid was leaning against him in content and tried to snuggle closer. "Can you believe the twins?" Astrid then mumbled. "Why in the name of all creation would they take a vacation to Hell?"

"I believe Eret suggested it." Hiccup told her. Astrid was quiet for a while before she spoke up "Well then…. I don't feel bad at all for dangling him above a burning pit. I might even do it again."

"Right" Hiccup said as he saw his phone vibrate. He decided not to take the call as he saw it was Snotlout. He was sure Snotlout could handle watching Toothless and Cookie for a couple of hours.

"So honey…." Astrid smiled as she turned around in his arms. "Why don't we have some fun once we get rid of the feathers?"

"What do you have in mind?" Hiccup asked as he pulled her on his lap.

"Well….. We do have this very very large bathtub." Astrid giggled.

 **AN:**

 **Dragon1010: "What are you doing?"**

 **Vala: "Writing an invoice."**

 **Dragon1010: "Why?"**

 **Vala: "Someone needs to pay for all the shrinks that the demons needed."**

 **Dragon1010: "And who are you going to send that to?"**

 **Vala: "Why TimPlazasta of course. He did give me the idea."**

 **Dragon1010: "And what are those stacks of papers on your desk?"**

 **Vala: "Damage reports from Hell. I need to make another invoice for those."**

 **Dragon1010: "Poor guy. I hate to be the one to get all these bills. Wait… are those also going to TimPlazasta?"**

 **Vala: "Of course….. Unless you want them."**

 **Dragon1010: "I'M GOOD!"**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"Hiccup don't worry!" Astrid smiled as she watched her boyfriend pace in the living room. His arm was in a sling from having dislocated it two days ago. "I haven't blown up anything yet." She assured.

"Yet…." Cookie trailed off as he sat on the table and looked between the couple. "Remember the last time you sliced carrots." Astrid shot Cookie a glare.

"It was an accident!" She muttered.

"Riiiight" Cookie laughed. "Tell that to the cutting board that got split in two."

"I can handle dinner tonight!" Astrid persisted when Cookie hummed the Funeral March while Toothless sat on the couch and let out a sad whine.

"Astrid…." Hiccup mumbled. He knew that this was a bad idea. A very bad idea but he had little choice. It was kind of his fault that he dislocated his shoulder in the first place. "At least let me help." he suggested.

"Hiccup you just rest. I got this!" Astrid told him. "Dinner will be on the table by the time your parents get here."

"It's your funeral." Cookie whispered as he had Toothless fly him out of the danger zone.

Hiccup let out a sigh. He knew that he couldn't win this battle with his girlfriend. He at least hoped that he didn't have to call a hazmat team…. Again. The last time was tough explaining as it was.

Hiccup decided to tidy up the other rooms of the apartment while Astrid got the 'food' ready.

Hiccup was busy dusting the knick knacks when he heard several bangs coming from his kitchen. "Astrid?" he asked as he turned towards the noise.

"DON'T COME IN HERE!" Astrid shouted as Hiccup heard the click of a door locking.

"Is everything alright in there?" He asked.

"EVERYTHING IS FINE!" Astrid shouted as there was some clanging of metal, most likely some pots. "I have everything under control. Nothing to see here. NO SIREE!"

Hiccup looked at the closed door with scepticism but went back to cleaning. Toothless flew over and settled on his head. The little dragon looked down curiously at the featherduster. Hiccup chuckled as he dusted Toothless, causing the black dragon to sneeze.

After that Hiccup hadn't heard anything from the kitchen again for a while. He got ready and called for Astrid. "How's it going there?" He asked. "Mom and dad will be here any minute." He still got no answer and was about to try and open the kitchen door when his doorbell rang.

Hiccup answered the front door and saw his mother and father on the other side. Stoick was holding a bottle of wine while Valka was smiling brightly. Hiccup hugged them and invited them in.

"Make yourselves at home." Hiccup said as he looked towards the kitchen. "I just need to check on Astrid and dinner." He nervously chuckled. Mentally he slapped himself. If Astrid was in a kitchen and it was quiet then something must be up. Hiccup tried the door but found that it was still locked. He finally heard something on the other side. He stepped back as the door opened swiftly. Astrid stepped out and made sure Hiccup didn't see what had happened in his kitchen.

"Welcome!" Astrid greeted Stoick and Valka happily. "Dinner will be out in a second. Hiccup darling, don't you even try to help. Your shoulder needs to heal." She stated as she gave him a smouldering look.

"About that son. How did that happen?" Stoick asked as he pulled a chair out for his wife.

"Uhm…." Hiccup blushed slightly and thought how to tell them. Valka gave her son a strange look and Hiccup decided to just come clean. "I fell when the bed broke!" He blushed.

Stoick and Valka blinked for a few seconds before one of them said "Son….. you have a wrought iron bed."

"I know dad." Hiccup mumbled as his cheeks got redder.

"You don't just break a wrought iron bed." Valka mumbled.

"You do when trying something new." Astrid laughed. Valka raised a brow before leaning forward eagerly "You must tell me later."

"MOM!" Hiccup nearly shrieked.

"Oh hush honey!" Valka told Hiccup who was doing a very accurate impression of a gaping strawberry. It didn't help that Astrid leaned in and mischievously whispered to Hiccup "We need to try it again as well."

Astrid patted Hiccup's shoulder as he stood there sputtering. She went back into the kitchen and soon came out with several dishes.

"Astrid these look amazing." Hiccup gaped.

"Why thank you honey." Astrid said as she gave Hiccup a peck on the cheek.

"So what are we having?" Stoick asked as the heavenly aroma filled the room.

"Well this is Yotam Ottolenghi's Cauliflower Cake" Astrid said and pointed to a dish. "There is also Skirt Steak with Chimichurri, and Southwestern-Spiced Pork Tenderloin."

Hiccup could see his father nearly drooling when Astrid was done explaining all the dishes as well as the desert that would follow. He had to admit this took him completely by surprise. He held the chair out for Astrid and then seated himself at the table.

"Well then why don't we tuck in." Astrid said, glad that she had made a good impression.

Valka took a bite and moaned. "Astrid this is so good. You must give me the recipe."

"I'm sure that I can forward it to you." Astrid told her as everyone continued eating. The dishes were soon empty and Stoick eagerly asked for a second helping. They were interrupted however by a poofing sound in the living room. Hiccup quickly looked over and his eyes widened. A demon had just poofed into Hiccup's living room, and they were barely wearing anything. Black leather knee high boots and a very revealing low cut black corset along with a short skirt adorned the demoness. She had medium length bat-like wings and long wild blond hair.

Stoick and Valka also noticed the newcomer and were about to say something before she latched onto Hiccup. "Hiccup honeybun!" She shouted. Hiccup's eyes widened in recognition.

"Camicazi!" He managed to choke out. He really had to wonder what Astrid's work college was doing here. He had only met her once on Halloween. He distinctly remembered that she was a succubus and that spelled trouble.

"Oh don't be a stranger Hiccup." Camicazi said in a sultry voice. Behind him he could hear Astrid growl low and dangerous.

"Get your greedy mitts off of my man Cami!" Astrid shouted as she changed into her demon form.

"What in Heaven's name?!" Stoick barked out as both he and Valka watched the weird scene unfold.

"Wrong realm dad!" Hiccup managed to get out as he tried to extract himself from the overeager succubus. Astrid was having none of it and grabbed a hold of Hiccup from the other side. Soon both Cami and Astrid were pulling on Hiccup, who wasn't faring any better. Astrid had enough and shouted "Garry get your behind in here and get your sister off my man!"

There was a clunking sound from the kitchen area and the door opened to reveal a head poking out of the door. Even with all the pulling, Hiccup managed to raise a brow at the new face. Blond hair, cut short with horns on top. Dressed as an aristocrat in a blood red suit and white cravat.

"Who is that?!" Hiccup and his parents asked at the same time. Astrid looked a bit sheepish. She didn't let go of Hiccup and was still glaring at Camicazi when she introduced the guy. "That is Garry. Camicazi's older brother and one of Hell's best caterers."

"Caterers?" Stoick asked confused. "Wait…. Hell has caterers?" Valka mumbled.

"Of course." Garry stated. "The demons do need something to eat during board meetings, parties and what not."

"You have to admit that does make sense." Stoick told his wife.

"GUYSSS!" Hiccup now shouted. "We can talk about that later. Crazy demoness here!"

"Don't worry Hiccy." Camicazi stated as she batted her eyes. "I'll keep you safe."

"I MEANT YOU!" Hiccup yelled.

"Garry do something!" Astrid shouted. She didn't have her axe with her and she really wanted to cleave the woman in two. She should have known that Cami would try getting Hiccup. They had some weird rivalry going.

Garry looked at the situation and then sighed. "Cami let go of Hiccup."

"Don't order me around!" Cami shouted back. "Just because you are a vegetarian incubus doesn't mean that I can't have some hot morsel."

"You know what…. I'm not even going to ask what a vegetarian incubus is." Hiccup sighed as he still had two women yanking at him.

"Camicazi if you don't let go of the human then I won't cook for you." Garry threatened.

"You wouldn't dare." Camicazi yelled in shock.

"Try me!" Garry stated as he crossed his arms.

"Ugh… fine!" Camicazi stated as she let go of Hiccup. She pouted and then looked sweetly at her older brother "Will you make my favorite?"

"I'll think about it." Garry mumbled as he sent Camicazi on her way. He then turned towards the others "Sorry about that. She tends to be a bit eager when seeing someone attractive."

"Right…" Hiccup mumbled, looking completely frazzled. He then turned to Astrid "A caterer?"

Astrid blushed and rubbed her arm nervously. "I might have….. Melted part of your counter." She admitted. Hiccup's eyes widened as he rushed into the kitchen.

"OH MY STARS!" Came the shout as he surveyed the damage. He came back out and asked his girlfriend "What were you trying to make? A nuke?"

"Actually that is the result of Chicken wraps." Garry supplied.

"That does not help." Hiccup mumbled.

"Look on the bright side." Astrid said as she clasped her hands together.

"What is the bright side?" Hiccup now had to ask.

"At least nothing blew up." Astrid told him.

"Wow she's worse than you." He heard his father mumbled, which earned him a glare from his wife.

"Excuse me!" Valka growled as she crossed her arms and looked at Stoick. Hiccup looked at his parents. He had forgotten them for a minute and he was trying to come up with a good way to explain all of….. this.

"Well… eh…." Stoick mumbled as he shrank under the glare from his wife. "Are you saying that my cooking is bad?!"

"No….eh…..maybe...eh… wait… I don't know." Stoick sputtered.

"Well that went well." Was suddenly heard. Hiccup and the others looked over to the living room to see Toothless flapping his little wings with Cookie in his paws.

"Hiccup… sweety….. Did that jar just talk?!" Valka shouted and Hiccup let out a groan. This was going to take some explaining.

 **-The End?-**

 **AN:**

 **Vala: "Well what do you think?"**

 **Dragon1010: "You made me an incubus."**

 **Vala: "Yup"**

 **Dragon1010: "You made me a vegetarian incubus."**

 **Vala: "Yup"**

 **Dragon1010: "You've been waiting to do that for a while heh?"**

 **Vala: "Oh yeah"**

 **Dragon1010: "What is a vegetarian incubus anyway?!"**

 **Vala: (Leans in to explain)**

 **Dragon1010: O_O (after explanation) "The HELL!"**

 **Vala: (smirks)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Hiccup sat nervously on the couch. He kept twiddling his thumbs as he looked at his parents who sat opposite of him. They were looking at Astrid, who was still in her demon form, in curiosity and awe. Garry had left some time ago, but not before handing both Stoick and Hiccup his business card, while Hiccup was filling his parents in on what was actually going on."

"So your girlfriend is actually a demon."

"Yes" Hiccup mumbled.

"Just to be clear, she isn't a dominatrix." Stoick now asked.

"Yes….." Hiccup answered and then paused. "Well it actually depends on the situation."

"Situation?" His mother asked.

"L….Let's just keep it at that." Hiccup answered much too quickly as a light blush appeared on his cheeks as Astrid shot him a wicked grin.

"And that jar is a sentient demon cookie jar, named Cookie, that you got from Astrid's mother." His father now summed up what had been explained so far. Hiccup nodded.

"You're taking this extremely well." Hiccup mumbled surprised. He would have expected his father to rant and rave in his booming voice while his mother played the voice of reason.

"I think they are still in shock." Astrid commented as she placed some lemonade in front of them. Stoick downed the glass of lemonade in one go before he looked at his son again.

"So how did you two meet again?" He asked.

Hiccup scratched the back of his head and thought about what to say when Astrid spoke up. "He walked in on me trying to kill Snotlout." She said rather bluntly.

"What!" Valka's eyes widened.

"It's true." Hiccup told his parents sheepishly. "Snotlout summoned Astrid, she gave him three wishes, tried to take his soul, he tried to have his soul taken once he found out the benefits, that didn't go as planned, and Astrid ended up going to dinner with me." Hiccup decided to get it all out in the open. His parents were staring at their son wide eyed and they would have stayed in shock if it wasn't for Toothless flying into Stoick's big red beard.

"What is that?!" His father shouted as he tried to get the black mass that was tangled up in his beard loose. Valka helped him quickly and soon she was looking at a set of cute green eyes that were regarding her curiously. "Oh my Thor! He's so cute!" She exclaimed as she started cuddling Toothless. Toothless loved it and laid on her lap with his tongue hanging out and warbling.

"Valka that's a dragon." Stoick told his wife as his bushy brows shot up.

"I can see that Stoick."

"Valka you're cuddling a dragon."

"I can see that Stoick. Isn't he just the cutest." She cooded.

"Yes Toothless is." Hiccup chuckled as he watched the display.

"Was this something you forgot to mention son?" His father queried.

"Well I didn't want to overwhelm you guys." He told his parents as he introduced Toothless.

"They just saw me talking and found out that your girlfriend is a demoness." Cookie told Hiccup as he hopped onto the coffee table. "I doubt that adding a pet dragon to the mix would have changed anything."

"Who else knows about Astrid? Besides your cousin." Stoick asked as his wife kept cuddling the small black dragon.

"Well there are the twins. You remember them from school right?" Hiccup thought. "They found out because they are actually angels in disguise."

"Wait what?" His mother snapped her head up. Toothless was wondering where all the attention was and tried to squirm on her lap. "Are you talking about the same twins who put a yak on Old man Mildew's roof because he shouted at them?!"

"Yes sadly. They are angels." Hiccup told them in all seriousness. "I didn't believe it at first either."

"And then there is Eret who is a demon hunter by day and a gigolo by night." Hiccup told them. Both his parents kept quiet at that. They really wanted to know but they thought it might be as bad as the twins. "And then there is Fishlegs and Heather but they only know because the twins animated their lawn gnomes." Hiccup shuddered. He didn't elaborate on that incident and no matter what happened he was never going to mention it again. It was just too… He shuddered. There wasn't a word for it.

Hiccup thought for a moment "Oh and the really religious lady down the hall also knows."

Valka frowned and looked at both Astrid and Hiccup questioningly. "And why does that woman know?" She asked. She had only met the woman once but had developed a real dislike for her and her bible pushing and gossiping.

"Well as you know, Astrid now practically lives here with me." Hiccup mumbled "and the lady made quite a scene when she saw Astrid in the hall once."

"The woman dared to tell me that I shouldn't be living with a man out of wedlock." Astrid huffed. "I just told her where to shove her opinion and might have set a hellhound or two after her."

Hiccup's head snapped towards his girlfriend "You never said anything about a hellhound!"

"You never asked."

"Touche" Hiccup smiled at his girlfriend as his mother gave her a high-five.

Hiccup was about to continue when his front door burst open. "HICCUP!" Snotlout shouted as he ran into the apartment.

"Snotlout what the hell?" Hiccup asked as his cousin nearly tackled him.

"Get this thing off of me!" He shouted.

"What thing?" Hiccup asked and then saw what Snotlout meant when he turned around. There hanging from his behind was a large blue crab sporting a postman's hat.

"I have no sarcastic response for this." Hiccup mumbled as he and Astrid got the crab off of Snotlout. The crab scuttled onto the floor before producing an envelope with a demon seal on it. Hiccup took the envelope and the crab scuttled out of the still open door.

"Well…. That was weird." Valka commented. As Hiccup opened the envelope and read the letter out loud.

" _Dear Hiccup and Astrid, I would like to formally invite you and your family to have dinner at my manor tomorrow night as a thank you for housing us during 'the Rampage'. For offering your home to us demons and my pet roosters I would like to offer you and your family a wonderful evening. I hope this message reaches you in time. I had sent my messenger crab off to your cousin because his pick up lines gave me a bit of a headache…._ "

"HEY!" Snotlout yelled indigently while rubbing his still sore behind. Hiccup ignored his cousin and read further.

" _...last time and I wished to have a bit of fun. I hope to see you all tomorrow. Hugs and kisses, Satan_ "

"Did Satan just send a letter with hugs and kisses?" Stoick asked surprised. Hiccup shrugged as he was already used to the weirdness.

"So what do you guys say?" Hiccup asked his parents and Snotlout.

"No way! Count me out." Snotlout immediately said. There is no way that I'm stepping foot in Hell." Hiccup's parents just looked at each other silently before nodding.

"I can't believe I'm stepping foot in Hell." Snotlout muttered as Astrid had lifted him up like a sack of potatoes and dragged him with them the next night. Her reasoning, he needed to get out more. She had poofed them all to Satan's manor and only put Snotlout down once Hiccup had rung the doorbell. The door opened to reveal a demon servant who led them towards the dining room where Satan greeted them. Beelzebub and Asmodeus were also in attendance and their eyes widened when they laid them on Valka.

Valka's eyes widened as well and she waved at the two who immediately scuttled behind Satan in fright.

"She's the poisoner!" Beelzebub screeched while pointing an accusing finger at Valka.

"Say what now?" Hiccup asked in confusion. His mother had the decency to look sheepish.

"What?!" Satan asked confused as he looked at the two who were still cowering.

"You know!" Asmodeus hissed. "The THING!" Satan's eyes widened comically as he looked at Valka. "Nooooo!" He now also shrieked.

"Sir, Lady Jezebel has arrived." The servant announced. A beautiful woman with long black hair walked into the room and her eyes widened upon spotting Valka and the cowering demons.

"Oh it's you." Jezebel exclaimed as a smirk made her way onto her face.

"Oh God." Satan mumbled.

"Wait…. Mom…. how do you know them?" Hiccup now asked. The other demons groaned.

Valka smiled as she thought back towards her youth. Her husband was also curious. Even Snotlout was looking astonished. "It was just as I got out of college." Valka told the others. "I had gotten a part time job bartending at a Vegas Casino." Stoick grimaced as he knew what type of alcoholic concoctions his wife tended to come up with.

"Oh God" Satan muttered and facepalm.

"Isn't she the one…" Jezebel questioned.

"SHUT UP!" Satan shouted hastily.

"But…." Jezebel mumbled.

"Don't you dare!" Satan warned.

"Just what is going on here?" Hiccup asked. Astrid merely shrug. She was watching the scene unfold with interest.

"She's the reason that Satan stole that chandelier!" Jezebel guffawed.

"FOR GOD'S SAKE SHUT UP!" Satan's voice rose a few octaves.

"Chandelier?" The others all asked now. Valka turned towards her son and husband. "Well….. He really couldn't hold his liquor."

"But….. Why a chandelier?" Astrid asked. It didn't make sense to her.

"He was drunk." Asmodeus muttered. "Drunk Satan likes shiny things."

"Oh" Astrid simply said.

"Well this certainly will be an entertaining evening." Lady Jezebel laughed.

 **AN:**

 **Dragon1010: "No more picking on Satan?"**

 **Vala: (Carrying a pink plastic flamingo) "Not this time."**

 **Dragon1010: "Why do you have a pink flamingo?"**

 **Vala: "No reason…."**

 **Dragon1010: "Right" -_-**

 **Vala: O_o "You coming?"**

 **Dragon1010: "Does it involve the pink flamingo?"**

 **Vala: "...yes"**

 **Dragon1010: "Count me in!"**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

It was a normal day for Hiccup, or as normal a day when living with your demonic girlfriend, a pet dragon, and a sassy cookie jar who is taking yodeling lessons. Hiccup was behind his computer, working on his latest design when his phone ringed. "Hello?" Hiccup answered as he picked up the receiver.

"Good day is this Mr. Haddock?" Came from the other end of the line.

"Yes this is." Hiccup answered. He wondered what this was about since he had no conference calls scheduled for today.

"I'm Principal Macril from Berk Elementary and I'm calling about your nephew Mr. Hofferson. We could not reach his parents and he gave us this number to call afterwards."

"Is he alright?" Hiccup asked immediately as his eyebrows shot up. He knew Astrid's little brother didn't exactly like him but they had warmed up to each other. He had been surprised to hear that Matthew was attending elementary school in the human world.

"He seems to have gotten into an altercation with a fellow student. We would appreciate it if you could come to the office so that we can talk about this." Came from the other side of the phone.

"Right, I'm on my way." Hiccup said and then he hung up before grabbing his coat. He still wondered why the school had called him and not Astrid's after they couldn't reach his parents. He was after all not technically his uncle,... Yet.

Hiccup drove to the school in his small black Mini Cooper. He had left Cookie in charge of the house while he was gone and hoped the jar could keep an eye on Toothless who was in his curious stage. He made it in record time and parked before heading into the building and up to the Principal's office. After knocking he entered the office to see a sulking Matthew, a larger boy sporting a black eye as well as some scrapes and bruises, and four other adults in the room.

"Mr. Haddock, thank you for coming so quickly. I'm Principle Macril." The man introduced as he beckoned Hiccup inside. Hiccup took a seat next to Matthew and looked at the other occupants. "These are Mr. and Mrs. Meathead, the other boy's parents and this is Matthew's teacher Mr. Deranged who stopped the scuffle on the playground."

Hiccup looked at them all and raised his eyebrows when he recognized Dagur. Heather's brother had gone to a different High School than them because he had nearly send their principal careening into a vat of cornstarch. He had never thought he'd see the crazy guy again and was surprised to see him becoming an Elementary school teacher. Dagur gave no indication that he remembered Hiccup and before he or the principal could say anything else Mrs. Meathead started making demands. "I want that boy expelled! How dare he hurt my little Burt!"

Hiccup looked at the boy with the black eye and saw him shooting glares at Matthew who was still sulking.

"Now there is no need for expulsion." Hiccup quickly said as he tried to get the woman to calm down. He had a good idea why Matthew hadn't called Astrid. She'd probably let her axe do the talking.

"That boy hit my baby!" She shouted while gesturing towards her son's black eye. His father meanwhile just sat there scowling at everyone. "Thuggory darling, tell them that the boy needs to be expelled." She now said while turning towards her husband who was dressed in an impeccable suit.

"Right you are dear." He agreed quickly.

Hiccup could see both the principal and teacher nod and he frowned. 'Were these people serious?' he thought to himself before saying "Now hold on a minute. You're actually agreeing to this?"

"Well…. Mr. and Mrs. Meathead have been top contributors to many of our school's sports programs." The Principal said as if that was the best reason.

"So you're agreeing with them because you don't want to loose any money?" Hiccup now asked as he shot a glare at them. "That is hardly a reason to expel someone. I get that fighting is against the rules but has anyone actually asked Matthew for his side of the story?"

He heard Mrs. Meathead huff while her husband looked uninterested. The principal and Dagur had sheepish looks on their faces. "I'll take that as a no."

"Isn't it obvious. That boy attacked my sweet baby! That boy is a little devil!" Mrs. Meathead whined. "I want him punished."

'You have no idea.' Hiccup thought and then asked "Matthew why don't you tell us your side of the story?"

"Would it really matter." Matthew huffed and then pointed to Burt "He told me that he'd never get in trouble because his daddy is some big hotshot manager."

"Why don't you start from the beginning." Hiccup told him and then shot Dagur a glare when he grumbled about troublemakers. "If you've so obviously made up your mind about this matter then I'd ask for you to shut up." He told the others. "I for one would like to know what actually happened." He then turned to Matthew who mumbled at first but then spoke up a bit.

"I was sitting at a table at recess and was about to eat my lunch when Burt came up like he does everyday to bully me."

"He bullies you?" Hiccup asked as he ignored the cry of outrage from Burt's mother. Matthew nodded and then said "It's usually about me getting better grades than him."

"So what happened at lunch?" Hiccup prodded.

"I took out my sandwich and Burt grabbed it from my hands before stomping on it." Matthew said as he shot the other boy a glare.

"Is that when the fight started?" Hiccup asked. Matthew however shook his head. "No….." The boy hesitated for a bit. "He then started teasing me about bringing my own lunch and that I was a momma's boy, but I tried to ignore him and that made him angry. He shoved me from my seat and called my mommy a mean name! No one calls my mommy names!"

"I see" Hiccup said as he looked at those in the room. He looked at the Principal and asked "So what would your verdict be?"

"Well…." The man said as he wiped his glasses clean. "I'm still leaning towards expulsion."

"Is that so." Hiccup muttered angrily as he saw the look of glee on Burt's parents' faces. "Well then I'm leaning towards pressing charges."

"Excuse me!" The others all shouted shocked.

"What charges!" Dagur sputtered.

"Let's see, Matthew was clearly provoked by his bully. I'm not saying that he shouldn't get off without punishment but your school does have an anti-bullying policy. So you also have to punish the other boy for his behavior. Since you've failed to do that then the charges would be.." He paused for effect and then pointed towards Matthew's bully "Assault" before pointing towards the principal "Negligence"

"You wouldn't dare!" Thuggory now stood up and tried to intimidate Hiccup, who just rolled his eyes. In his opinion Camicazi was scarier. "Do you have any idea who I am?!"

Hiccup gave Thuggory a 'Do-you-think-I-care' look. "My father is a lawyer. I'm sure he can make the charges stick."

"Now now. Surely we can come to an understanding here." Dagur mumbled as he closed the slack-jawed mouth of his employer.

"How about a fair punishment?" Hiccup asked.

"And what would you suggest to be a fair punishment?" Was asked.

"One day suspension for both boys." Hiccup told them.

"But I don't wanna!" Burt whined. The principal sighed. "Very well" He agreed as he didn't want a lawsuit on his hands.

Hiccup nodded and tried not to smirk as the Meatheads looked like they ate a few sour lemons. He indicated for Matthew to follow him and said after opening the door "I'm sure the won't be such a misunderstanding again. Now I'm going to take him to get some food since he had his destroyed." Hiccup then promptly closed the door, leaving several gaping faces on the other side.

Matthew was silent until they had reached Hiccup's car. "THAT WAS SO COOL!" The boy exclaimed as he got strapped in. Hiccup actually blushed. "How about we go to get something to eat?" He asked to which Matthew eagerly nodded. They ended up at a nice cozy little restaurant and the boy was poking at his spaghetti when Hiccup asked "So you didn't call Astrid because she would clobber them all?"

Matthew looked up and then nodded slightly. "And because she'd also give me an earful."

"Right…" Hiccup mumbled. "You know you are still going to have to tell your parents about the suspension."

"I know but I just wish I could really teach them a lesson." The little boy stated.

"Is that such a good idea?" Hiccup asked.

"Mom and dad sent me to the human school to learn more about humans. Well humans play pranks on eachother right." Matthew asked innocently. Hiccup had to give the kid credit. The thought 'devil's advocate' crossed his mind but he shrugged.

"You have any ideas?" Matthew now asked as he looked at Hiccup all starry-eyed. Hiccup thought for a moment and then it clicked. A smirk adorned his face as he reached for his cellphone. "I might" He said before dialing a familiar number. The phone ringed and he then said when the other person picked up "Hi mom. Remember when you asked me if I knew of a good use for those things?"

The day passed without any problems and Matthew and Hiccup had a good time plotting. Valka promised to deliver the things the next day. When Hiccup got home however he found Cookie, upside down, screeching from the counter about sugar high dragons.

Since Matthew was suspended for the day Hiccup told Astrid's parents that he's be willing to watch the little devil. That afternoon they put their prank in motion. The following day Matthew poofed into Hiccup's apartment and told him all the juicy details of the day.

Hiccup had gotten several neon pink plastic flamingoes from his mother. His father had bought them as lawn ornaments but Valka refused to put the monstrosities up. Matthew had enchanted the things so that they would be invisible and follow the principal, Dagur and Burt around all day. No one else but the intended people would be able to see the flamingoes and others would think that they were crazy. Unbeknown to them Astrid had just come into the room and she listened in on the conversation.

"When did you two get so cozy?" She asked startling them. "And what's this I hear about flamingoes?"

Hiccup let out a nervous chuckle. "Well you see honey…."

 **AN:**

 **Dragon1010: O_O**

 **Vala: "Why so surprised? It was your idea."**

 **Dragon1010: "I know but…"**

 **Vala: "But what?"**

 **Dragon1010: Could you please stop this flamingo from following me around everywhere? I was trying to take a shower."**

 **Vala: "Hey I needed a guinea pig."**

 **Dragon1010: -_-**

 **Vala: "Don't give me that look." (-_-)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Hiccup hummed to himself as he fixed his suit in the mirror. The black tuxedo fitted him like a glove and he once again adjusted his tie. "Hiccup honey!" Astrid called from the bathroom "Can you help me zip up?"

Hiccup walked to the bathroom to see Astrid in her black shoulderless gown putting on makeup. She wore rose colored lipstick and was applying some eyeliner. Hiccup walked up behind her and pulled up the back zipper of her gown before giving her a kiss on the cheek. "You look gorgeous." He whispered in her ear.

"Hiccup you little devil." Astrid giggled. "You're lucky that this dress is hard to get into, otherwise I'd make sure we didn't leave the house tonight."

"Promises promises." Hiccup laughed as he walked back to grab his coat. He felt inside his coat pocket and smiled once he felt the small box nestled there. It took a lot of bribing to get Snotlout to babysit both Cookie and Toothless again, especially after last weekend when the neighbour's parrot was involved, while he went in search of the perfect ring. 'Tonight is the night' He thought to himself as he wore his coat while Astrid grabbed her shawl and purse. They were going ballroom dancing, something Astrid greatly enjoyed, and then heading to one of the best restaurants in town.

'Dear Thor. Tonight's the night.' Hiccup thought as he tried to shoo his nervousness away without having Astrid catch on. He gave Toothless, who was laying on his back in his little fluffy bed, a scratch before walking out of the room.

They were about to leave when frantic knocking could be heard on the front door. Hiccup opened the door and saw Ruffnut on the other side. He opened it mid knock and had to duck to avoid a black eye.

"Hiccup you have to help me!" Ruffnut shrieked as she quickly walked inside. "That two-bit demoness has kidnapped my MUFFIN!"

"Your muffin?" Hiccup, Astrid and Cookie, who was woken up from his nap by the commotion, asked at nearly the same time. Hiccup thought for a moment before it clicked. "You mean Eret right?" He asked just to be sure. It might have been an actual muffin that got kidnapped. You could never know with the twins.

"Yes Eret!" Ruffnut exclaimed. "Some two-bit demoness started hitting on him in the club that we visited and next thing I knew she whisked him away to Hell!"

"You got Eret to go on a club with you?" Astrid asked before she gave Ruffnut a high-five. "You go girl."

"I know right." Ruffnut smirked before she got serious again. "I need your help to get to hell so that I can beat up that Camicazi for stealing my man!"

The name caused Hiccup to let out a groan before he asked "You're an angel. Can't you just go to hell yourself?"

"I'd love to but I'd need Tuff. The portal requires two angels to open, just like the portal to heaven requires two demons to open." Ruffnut explained.

"I'm afraid to ask….. But why can't you ask Tuffnut?" Hiccup mumbled.

"He's speed dating with Chicken somewhere up north." Ruffnut said as if that explained everything.

"He's speed dating his chicken?" Cookie asked perplexed.

"Oh no you silly jar!" Ruffnut stated. "It's Chicken whose speed dating."

"Then… what is Tuffnut doing there?" Astrid asked even more confused now.

"He's there for moral support of course!" Ruffnut said as if it was obvious.

"Shouldn't have asked." Hiccup could be heard mumbling as he face palmed.

"So will you help me?" Ruffnut asked as she gave them the puppy-dog eyes. Hiccup had his hands in his coat pocket. One hand gripped the small box before he turned to Astrid. He wasn't going to let one of his friends who needed help down and he especially wasn't going to leave Eret with Camicazi.

"Shall we Hiccup?" Astrid asked after she finished searching for something on her phone. "I'm sure we can make our dinner reservation afterwards."

Hiccup nodded as he and Ruffnut grabbed one of Astrid's arms each. They poofed out of the living room leaving Cookie alone. "Well this will probably end badly." Cookie muttered before going back to sleep.

They landed in Hell in front of a fancy hotel. The sign read 'Hotel Grand Deville'. "How original" Hiccup mumbled as he looked towards Astrid "Why did we land here?"

"Camicazi's in this hotel." Astrid told him. "I checked on her facebook status." She explained while showing her the post. 'Having a good time with new Hottie!' It read and along with is was the location she was currently at.

"How dare she call my Eret that!" Ruffnut angrily shouted. "This means war!" Just as Hiccup asked "You have her on facebook? Aren't you guys rivals or something?"

"Hiccup keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Astrid laughed. Hiccup merely raised a brow and then shook his head at her reasoning. They proceeded to follow Ruffnut inside. She was marching with a purpose and a menacing aura that would have a Cerberus fleeing with its tail between its legs. They ended up at the front desk where a swarmy looking demon sat behind.

"Can I help you miss?" The man asked as he merely glanced at Ruffnut.

"I need to know where the room is for a demoness named Camicazi." Ruffnut tried to be civil.

"I'm sorry miss. I can't divulge the room number of our clients unless you have a legitimate reason for visiting or are family.

Ruffnut's brow twitched in irritation and before Hiccup or Astrid could stop her she reached over and pulled the poor demon towards herself. "Listen here Dennis" She read his nametag before hissing "I am so not in the mood right now. Either you tell me where this Camicazi's room is or I'll make 'The Rampage' look like a warm up."

"Room 386" The man sputtered while handing Ruffnut a keycard. "Please don't hurt me!" He begged. Ruffnut let him go and patted him on the head before making her way towards the elevator.

Hiccup and Astrid followed behind her to make sure the hotel would be left standing. "This place sure is busy." Hiccup commented as the elevator doors closed.

"It's the annual Leaders of Hell convention." Astrid pointed out.

"Leaders of Hell?" Hiccup asked.

"Sure…. Hell is separated much like the countries. "There are different rulers for each section. Yama, Hades, Satan, the Mayan Death Gods to name a few."

"I see." Hiccup said as he listened to the explanation. The elevator arrived on the third floor and Ruffnut revealed her wings and halo. She pushed her halo forward and marched towards the room. She used the card key but got frustrated as it kept giving her an error. It finally worked and Ruffnut nearly wrenched the door off it's hinges. She stepped inside the room and shouted "GET YOUR GRIMY HANDS AWAY FROM MY MAN!" The occupants of the room froze, the champagne glasses halfway towards their mouths.

"Well this isn't good." Hiccup commented as he and Astrid stepped aside as a catfight broke out.

"Nope, definitely not good." Astrid said as the two fighting women smashed through a wall with their superior strength.

Meanwhile down in the hotel's convention hall "Ladies and gentledemons! Give it up for Alvin and the Outcasts!" Someone on stage announced. There was raucous applause as a burly man with a black beard carrying a fiddle appeared on stage followed by the rest of the band. He waved to the audience before starting the song.

"The Devil went down to Georgia. He was lookin' for a soul to steal. He was in a bind cause he was way behind. He was willing to make a deal. When he came across this young man sawin' on a fiddle and playin' it hot. And the Devil jumped upon a hickory stump and said "Boy, let me tell you what."" The crowd cheered as Alvin played his fiddle.

"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player, too. And if you'd care to take a dare I'll make a bet with you. Now you play a pretty good fiddle, boy, but give the Devil his due. I'll bet a fiddle of gold against your soul cause I think I'm better than you." Alvin sang to many demons dancing when suddenly a hole was created in the ceiling and two fighting women fell through.

"What in tarnation?!" Several demons including Alvin shrieked. The music stopped and they watched the ongoing catfight. Hiccup, Astrid and Eret had jogged down towards the convention hall just in time to see Camicazi trying to drown Ruffnut in a punchbowl.

"I'll teach you you hussy!" Camicazi shrieked.

"Who you calling a hussy, you hussy!" Ruffnut countered as they now rolled on the floor, yanking at each others hair. "How dare you seduce my man!"

"Your man!" Camicazi shouted. "Honey news flash! He told me you were his little sister!"

"OOOH" the crowd of demons went upon hearing that. Eret visibly blanched and took a step back when Ruffnut's voice pierced the hall "WHAT DO YOU MEAN SISTER! I'M HIS GIRLFRIEND!"

"I'M HIS GIRLFRIEND!" Camicazi now shouted as she was getting red in the face. Both women suddenly stopped as if they realized something. "Wait a minute…" Camicazi mumbled as she let go of Ruffnut and both sat up. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"If what I'm thinking is what you're thinking." Ruffnut mumbled as she set her skewed halo right. Both women looked at Eret who was trying to make a hasty retreat. "ERET GET BACK HERE!" They shouted in unison and chased after him. "YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!" could be heard from the lobby. The demons cringed as a manly yelp was heard followed by a crash.

"Well…." Hiccup had no words for what happened. He looked at his watch and then groaned at the time. They had missed their reservations. He looked around at the hall and when he spotted Alvin he suddenly got an idea. "Wait here Astrid!" Hiccup said before quickly sprinting to the stage. He whispered something to Alvin who nodded.

Alvin cleared his throat and then began to sing. "All I am, all I'll be. Everything in this world, all that I'll ever need. Is in your eyes, shining at me. When you smile I can feel, all my passion unfolding. Your hand brushes mine. And a thousand sensations seduce me 'cause I, I do, cherish you. For the rest of my life you don't have to think twice I will, love you still. From the depths of my soul, it's beyond my control. I've waited so long to say this to you. If you're asking do I love you this much. I do "

"Hiccup what?" Astrid asked as she heard the song. She looked at Hiccup and gasped upon seeing him down on one knee. The song continued and Hiccup produced the black velvet ring box. He opened it to reveal a beautifully crafted platinum ring with a set of three diamonds on it. "Astrid I had a big fancy dinner planned during which I thought to propose to you." He started. "But today I realized that I didn't need something fancy to make my feelings known to you. All I needed was you. Astrid Hofferson I love you more than the world and I would be honored if you would become my wife." He asked and cast hopeful eyes on her as she stared down at him in surprise.

"Oh Yes Hiccup. YES!" Astrid shouted before jumping Hiccup and enveloping him in a very steamy, passionate kiss. "I would love to marry you!" She happily said as he slipped the ring on her finger. The crowd gave a wild clap and even Camicazi and Ruffnut cheered as they dragged a semi unconscious Eret behind them who also weakly clapped.

Astrid had a predatory look in her eyes and whispered to him "Well seeing as we are in a hotel…" She trailed off as Hiccup's cheeks tinged pink.

 **AN:**

 **Dragon1010: "How long have you been planning this?"**

 **Vala: (Eating popcorn) "I don't know what you mean."**

 **Dragon1010: "Suuurrreee"**

 **Vala: "You know what this means."**

 **Dragon1010: "This story is nearing it's ending. What do you have planned for the last part?"**

 **Vala: (Going through reviews) "You'll have to wait and see."**

 **Dragon1010: "Oh come on. Not even a hint?"**

 **Vala: "Nope" (insert evil laugh here) "I'm sure it will be explosive though."**

 **Songs used:**

 **The Devil went down to Georgia by The Charlie Daniels band**

 **I do Cherish you by Mark Wills**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

It had been a few months after Hiccup had proposed to Astrid and things were still running smoothly. So far there had been no fights between his mother and mother in-law about decorations, table settings, or even the guest list. His father and Astrid's got along surprisingly well as they helped choose the menu for the big day. Hiccup thought that they were just in it for the food and he was right, especially when they needed to taste test.

Toothless had only set Snotlout on fire thrice as they had been practicing the rehearsal wedding and the dinner, which was a new record. Hiccup never thought of Cookie as the sentimental type but as the wedding day approached the poor demonic jar began to weep that his owner was getting older.

It was on the day of the wedding that things got interesting. Hiccup, not nervous at all… no siree… was sitting on the couch playing with Toothless a few hours before he had to head to the venue to get ready, when granny poofed in.

"What?" Hiccup exclaimed out of shock as he nearly fell from the couch as Astrid's granny appeared, while wearing a spandex suit.

"Granny Hofferson?!" Hiccup exclaimed as Toothless let out a whine of annoyance at being ignored. "What are you doing here…. now… in my apartment…. Wearing THAT?!" He exclaimed looking slightly shocked. He'd have been more shocked if he was just a normal human who hadn't been dating a demoness and hadn't met said demoness' quirky relatives, friends, foes and what not, on nearly a daily basis.

"Shhh" Granny hushed him as thrusted a package into his arms. "I really need you to keep this safe." She told him before grabbing a grappling gun and poofing out again while striking a fabulous pose. Hiccup looked in confusion at the box and then to where granny Hofferson had been standing.

"Hiccup darling are you alright?" Astrid asked as she was about to head to the venue. She spotted the large box in his lap and raised a brow. "What is that?"

Hiccup shrugged before opening the box. As he looked inside he raised his brows upon seeing the contents. "Astrid dear…." Hiccup trailed off. "Does your grandmother have a penchant for spandex and eggs?"

"WHUT?!" Astrid asked confused before she peered into the box from behind the couch. Inside it laid a large black egg.

"Uhmm…. Hiccup" Astrid mumbled. "That's a dragon egg."

"I know." Hiccup said as he remembered Toothless' egg. "Why did she bring it here?"

"Beats me." Astrid shrugged as she still avoided coming into Hiccup's line of vision. "Granny does weird things." She proceeded to kiss Hiccup, her soon to be husband on the cheek, before heading out. 'Heather and Ruffnut are waiting downstairs." She told him. "Now no peeking." She said as she covered his eyes. "It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding." She giggled before giving Hiccup another quick peck and leaving him alone with the egg in the box.

Toothless being as curious as ever flew up and sat on Hiccup's head while peering at the black egg. "I honestly have no idea what I'm doing with this." Hiccup mumbled to himself before he got up and went to get the egg cozy that Toothless' egg had been in.

"Need to keep it warm at least." Hiccup murmured as he put the egg in the cozy. Cookie had hopped onto the coffee table and was mumbling something that sounded strangely like "Not another one."

Hiccup rubbed the back of his head and then came to the decision to take the egg with him to the venue, which was outdoors near a large swan filled lake. During the whole wedding preparation that had been the easiest to find. The hardest had been a pastor. When they found out who and what the bride-to-be was and who all would be in attendance they would either faint, scream bloody murder, scream and then faint, or run like their pants had been set on fire, which in a few instances had been the case because of his grumbling fiance. One even tried to do an exorcism.

In the end they had everything ready except for someone to marry them. That was until Hiccup's godfather Gobber showed up, grinning like a loon, and showed them his licence to perform marriages. Astrid was very happy when she heard the news and even more so when she read the wedding ceremony script that Gobber would be using.

Now Hiccup sat here waiting for Snotlout. His black tuxedo, recently pressed and made fireproof; the latter at Astrid's request, hung nearby. Hiccup hoped that the wedding wouldn't be as insane as the bachelor and bachelorette parties. He still shuddered at what the twins had planned and idly wondered where they got the elephant and the marching band of male strippers.

The doorbell rang and Hiccup went to answer it. "There's my lucky cuz!" Snotlout exclaimed before attempting to lift Hiccup up in a hug. "I can't believe today is the big day!"

"Yeah Snotlout." Hiccup smiled nervously. "I think my brain hasn't registered it yet."

"You're not getting cold feet are you?" Snotlout asked as he grabbed Hiccup. "Because I already moisturized my handsome face for this event."

"No Snot. I'm not getting cold feet." Hiccup answered. "I just don't think my brain has caught up yet. I was so nervous yesterday that I put salt in my coffee….. And now… nothing."

Snotlout looked at his cousin pensively before clapping him on the back. "I'm sure everything will be fine." The shorter one said before he walked further inside and started helping Hiccup with the stuff that still had to be taken to the venue. Toothless and Cookie were also coming along and Hiccup picked up the large black egg to take with him as well.

"Don't ask." Hiccup told Snotlout who was gaping at the egg while mumbling "What the hell!"

They made it to the venue within an hour and Hiccup raised a brow as he saw Tuffnut walk by while holding a chainsaw and an ice pick. "You know what…. I don't want to know." Hiccup muttered. The last time he had asked Tuffnut what he was up to he received some cryptic explanation about the smoothness of marble and a certain part of the human anatomy.

"Son there you are!" Stoick exclaimed as he hugged Hiccup.

"Dad what are you doing here so early?" Hiccup asked confused. "I thought you and mom were going to arrive when the other guests got here."

"Well we decided to come a bit early as we needed to pick up the wedding cake." His father laughed as he and Hiccup walked across the venue. The area was right near the lake and the chairs and altar were situated in the shade of some large weeping willows. Dark blue and white flowers decorated the pathway and not far from there was the large reception tent where the cake stood. A four tier vanilla almond cake covered in white and dark blue fondant. The cake topper was one his future mother in law picked up. It was of the bride picking up the groom bridal style.

Hiccup heard some sniffing beside him and he turned to see is father secretly try to wipe away some tears. "Dad?" Hiccup asked only to be enveloped in another hug by Stoick. "Oh my baby boy is growing up so fast!" He sniffed. "Why it seemed like only yesterday I was changing ya nappies and now you're getting married!"

"Dad!" Hiccup gasped. "Can't breathe!"

"OOPS!" Stoick realized and promptly set Hiccup down. Why don't ya get ready son. I'm going to check if the Maid of Honor hasn't spiked the punch yet."

"Right" Hiccup said before he walked back to Snotlout's car only to see him being headbutted by Toothless.

"ACK!" Snotlout exclaimed while Cookie was rooting for the little black dragon. Hiccup shook his head at their antics.

Time passed fairly quickly and soon Hiccup was putting the finishing touches on his tuxedo. He tucked a blue rose into his lapel and then turned to Toothless who was sitting on a table next to the black egg. The little black dragon had a large blue bow tied around his neck and cocked his head curiously at Hiccup. "Now no setting this bow on fire." Hiccup told Toothless who merely wagged his tail. There was a poofing sound and Hiccup turned around to see what was happening. His eyes widened when he saw four demons with him in the tent. 'Oh boy' he thought.

Meanwhile Astrid was twirling in front of the mirror as Ruffnut, her Maid of Honor, and Heather, also a bridesmaid, fussed about. Astrid had found this wonderful dress in a little bridal shop in town. It was a dark blue off the shoulder dress outfitted with a cape long train and silver studded beads. She liked the gown the minute she saw it.

"So far everything is on schedule." Heather said as she went down her checklist while Valka was helping Astrid put on her veil. "The caterers have everything in place, Alvin and his band are ready to begin the wedding march, and it looks like clear skies for the rest of the day."

"Honestly the only thing I need is Hiccup." Astrid dreamily mumbled.

"Well I already checked off the groom." Heather stated. "It should be a piece of cake." Suddenly the tent flap to Astrid's changing room was shoved open and a panting Snotlout ran inside. "HICCUP'S MISSING!" Snotlout yelled before Valka covered his mouth as to not alarm any nearby guests.

"Heather you might want to uncheck that groom from your list." Ruffnut mumbled before she quickly went out of the tent and got Stoick and Astrid's parents. She got back just in time to see Astrid nearly choking Snotlout while asking "Where is my groom?!" Valka was trying to pry her off the poor man while Heather didn't know what to do.

"Where is MY groom!" Astrid asked as her mother also started helping Valka with prying the bride from the best man.

"I don't know!" Snotlout exclaimed as he could finally breathe again. "I went to find Hiccup and he wasn't in his tent. Toothless and that egg weren't there either."

"The egg!" Astrid exclaimed before turning to her grandmother who had also followed the others. "Granny why did you give Hiccup that egg?"

"Well….." Granny said sheepishly. "I thought it would be rather safe with him. I didn't think that they would have found out."

"They?!" Astrid muttered. "Granny you've been on one of your missions again?" Astrid now asked as she already had an idea of what had happened.

"It was a last minute thing I had to do." Granny told her. "But don't worry. I placed a homing beacon on that egg."

"That's all I needed to know." Astrid said as she turned towards her father. "Daddy can I use your armory?" She asked sweetly. Knowing he couldn't refuse his daughter he handed over the keys. Without much warning Astrid poofed out of the tent, wedding dress and all.

"Uhm…. where is she going?" Heather asked as the wedding was about to start in a few minutes.

"Getting her man back." Astrid's mother laughed. "It shouldn't take long knowing my daughter."

"But what will we do about the guests. Wouldn't they be wondering about where the bride and groom are?" Heather questioned again.

"No worries!" Ruffnut suddenly said. "I'll just ask my brother to improvise."

Meanwhile Hiccup had been tied to a chair somewhere in Hell and was watching the entire scene unfold before him without a care in the world. He had already figured out by their conversation that these demons were dragon smugglers and they were now in trouble because the egg that they had promised their buyer had just hatched. Toothless had been growling at the demons if they tried to come closer to the newly hatched Night Fury. The little black hatchling had stunning blue eyes and was happily nuzzling Toothless who was using one of the demons as target practice for his fireballs.

"Ugh… this can't be happening." One demon grumbled. "What are we going to do now? There is no way our buyer will accept this."

"I heard he was going to make the famous dragon egg stew." Another mumbled to the one standing there.

"We just lucked out on a big pay day." Another angrily smashed his fist through a table.

"Boss….." One of the demons spoke up. "What we gonna do with him?" He asked while pointing to Hiccup.

"Eh….. how about you just let us go?" Hiccup suggested. This caused the demons in the room to guffaw.

"This human is funny!" The boss laughed.

"No… I'm actually really serious." Hiccup told them. "If you let me go then there wouldn't be a need for an ambulance."

"Listen puny human. You're not going to be alive soon. I doubt you'll need an ambulance." The boss grumbled.

"Uh…. the ambulance isn't for me." Hiccup told the group. "It's for you guys." This elicited another round of laughter from the smugglers.

"Boss ya sure we can't keep him?" Another demon asked. Just as the boss was about to respond the door was banged open and in ran a large burly demon with its tail between his legs. The demon proceeded to quickly shove the large metal door close, lock it and drag a desk in front of it.

"WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!" The frantic demon gasped.

"What's wrong?" The boss asked as he tried to calm his underling down.

"We need to get out of here!" The demon frantically said again. "The others have already been defeated."

"What?" Those in the room shouted as they heard an explosion from somewhere.

"What army invaded our base?" The boss asked as the others got out their weapons.

"Not an army!" The demon mumbled. "It's some pissed off bride!"

Hiccup's eyes widened and he lifted a brow just as another explosion was heard. This one knocked back the desk and metal door. On the other side Hiccup saw Astrid, standing above the rubble and several knocked out demons with axe in one hand, a RPG launcher that looked recently fired in the other, and a portable gatling gun strapped to her back.

"HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY FUTURE HUSBAND AND FATHER OF MY CHILDREN!" She screamed as the other demons, who were still conscious, in the room backed up. "AND ON OUR WEDDING DAY NO LESS!" Astrid continued on as she looked at the demons with rage filled eyes. "I HAVE WAITED FOR THIS DAY FOR A LONG TIME AND NO THIRD RATE GANG OF DEMONS IS GOING TO RUIN IT!"

Astrid proceeded to march into the room and started taking out demon after demon until she got to the leader of the group. She grabbed him by the neck and hissed "Do you have any idea how long it took me to find the perfect wedding lingerie!" The boss quickly shook his head in the hopes to appease her.

Astrid turned to where Hiccup was bound and said "Honey I'll be with you in a minute!" She then proceeded to teach the demons a well deserved lesson. Hiccup thought that they'd think twice now about pissing off a bride.

Meanwhile back at the wedding venue Tuffnut was keeping the guests busy with his ice sculpting technique. So far he had sculpted out of the giant block of ice a realistic looking chicken which was holding up a martini glass as if in a toast.

Heather discreetly made her way towards Ruffnut and Snotlout and told them "Astrid and Hiccup just got back." They all went into the tent to see Astrid dusting herself off while Hiccup helped her with her weapons. There were far more on her than he could see. The gatling gun was placed on the dresser, her axe on a chair along with several knives, shurikens and a mace that she somehow kept hidden in the wedding dress.

"So shall we get this party started?" Snotlout asked as Astrid set her veil right.

"Hell yes!" Both Hiccup and Astrid said in unison. Toothless and the newly hatched dragon also warbled happily. Ruffnut poked her head out of the tent and gave her brother a motion to indicate that they were ready. Tuffnut stopped adorning the chicken he had just carved out of the ice and quickly wheeled the sculpture away. Alvin and the others stood ready as Hiccup took his place on the altar.

"Cutting it close Hiccup." Gobber whispered to him.

"You have no idea." He answered back as Alvin and his band started playing the wedding march. The guests stood up as Matthew walked down the aisle spreading flower petals everywhere. Cookie followed after him and hobbled down the aisle with a pillow on his head holding the golden wedding bands. Several of Hiccup's distant family raised some brows at the jar. Cookie was followed by Heather and Fishlegs and then Ruffnut and Snotlout. Once everyone had taken their place at the altar Astrid arrived in all her demon glory. She made her way forward as her demon friends and family members on one side cried, while Hiccup's family gushed. Eret who had made up with Camicazi had taken her as his date to the wedding. She discreetly handed him a tissue as he was tearing up at the happy occasion.

The guests sat back down once Astrid had reached the altar. On her left side she saw Stoick and Valka sitting in the front row. On her right her own family. Granny discreetly gave her a thumbs up. Astrid handed her blue and white bouquet to Ruffnut as she turned to face Hiccup.

Gobber cleared his throat and began the ceremony. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in infernal matrimony. To celebrate one of life's greatest moments, the joining of two hearts and to give recognition to the worth and beauty of love."

"Now that we can finally start this shindig." Gobber said, eliciting several laughs from the audience. "Should there be anyone who has cause why this couple should not be united in marriage, Shush! Or face the wrath of the bride."

Astrid turned slightly to glare at anyone who would think to interrupt. Satan who was sitting in the third row whispered to Jezebel "That woman is scarier without her axe."

"Good!" Gobber exclaimed as no one spoke up. "Now that that part is over we can get to the juicy bit."

"Today we have come together to witness the joining of these two lives. They met each other, fell in love and are finalizing it with their wedding." Gobber recited. "Now I'm not about to bore you anymore as all of you came to see these two finally get married, so without further ado, the vows please."

Hiccup lifted Astrid's veil and took her hand. "I, Hiccup Horrendous haddock the Third take you Astrid Antoinette Hofferson to be my wife, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever and through all your cooking attempts."

"Brave lad" Gobber whispered.

Astrid smiled at Hiccup as she started her vows "I, Astrid Antoinette Hofferson take you Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third to be my husband, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever and through all your sassy and sarcastic attempts."

"Yes, quite the sass this one has." Gobber mumbled before stating "Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third do you take Astrid Antoinette Hofferson to be your loving demon wife?"

"I do" Hiccup said without any hesitation.

"And do you Astrid Antoinette Hofferson take Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third to be your loving husband?"

"I do" Astrid stated.

Gobber then proceeded to the part of the rings. Once both Hiccup and Astrid had on their wedding bands he said "By the power vested in me I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss!" he laughed as he said this. Hiccup proceeded to dip Astrid and kiss her deeply as the guests cheered and clapped.

"May I present to you our happy couple!" Gobber shouted as Hiccup and Astrid proceeded to walk back down the aisle.

The reception that followed was a thing of beauty. Astrid and Hiccup had had their first dance as a married couple while they also gave Ruffnut the thumbs up as she managed to snag Snotlout.

More than half the room was on the dance floor when Hiccup asked "So…. father of your children?" Hiccup asked her as he gave his new wife a sly smile.

Astrid laughed a little and then said. "Yup and it looks like we kind of started early." Hiccup stopped dancing as he looked at Astrid in shock. The other couples on the dance floor also stopped to see what was going on.

"Astrid are you telling me that you're pregnant?" Hiccup asked as he blinked curiously at her.

"Oh yes." She mumbled. "I switched out our champagne for the non-alcoholic version."

"Astrid that's wonderful!" Hiccup exclaimed as he enveloped her in a hug.

"All three of our children are going to be so cute!" Astrid gushed. Hiccup's eyebrows flew up as he sputtered. "Did you just say….. Three?"

"Yes. I'm having triplets it seems." Astrid told him. Hiccup just looked at her blankly for a moment before he fell backwards in a faint. "Oh my gosh Hiccup!" Astrid shouted as she bent down to revive her poor husband.

"We have a code Orange!" Gobber shouted as several caterers sprang into action. "I repeat we have a code Orange! The groom is down! I repeat the groom is down!"

One of the staff came running with some smelling salts while another checked if Hiccup had no head injury.

"They seem awfully prepared for this." Stoick mentioned to Gobber.

"Oh trust me. This happens more than you think." Gobber replied as he looked at the poor fainted lad.

 **-THE END-**

 **AN:**

 **Dragon1010: "Well now. That was an ending."**

 **Thearizona: (** _ **is carrying a crossbow**_ **) "You can say that again."**

 **Vala: "I'm leaving the rest up to the readers imaginations."**

 **Dragon1010: "Sounds good" (** _ **turns to Thearizona**_ **) "Why do you have a crossbow?"**

 **Thearizona: "Oh I found it at a yard sale." (** _ **Dragon1010 starts touching it**_ **) "Be careful! The trigger is rather….." (** _ **an arrow is released from the bow**_ **) "Nevermind"**

 **Warorpeace: "YEAOCH!" (** _ **Falls out of palm tree with arrow sticking out of his behind**_ **)**

 **Dragon1010: "OOPS"**

 **Thearizona: "Wait…. He was in that tree all this time?"**

 **Vala: "Yup"**

 **Dragon1010: "Why do I have a feeling that you had something to do with that?"**

 **Vala: "I don't know what you mean."**

 **Thearizona: "Suuuure"**

 **Vala: "I have the right to remain silent." (** _ **huffs**_ **)**

 **Warorpeace: "HEY! Can someone get this arrow out of my behind! Guys…. Hey GUYS!"**


End file.
